Thus, I need inspiration but where, I wonder, does inspiration come from? What inspires us? What inspires you? What inspires me? Since I haven't yet been granted the gift of reading souls (you never know), I'll focus on the latter question. But, before addressing the answer, we must breakdown the question. I know it is only 3 words but stay with me, I promise I'm going somewhere with this...
Webster says inspiration is "something that makes someone want to do or create something". When I think about being inspired, I romanticize it and think of being moved, possessing a kind of passion that uncontrollably propels me into action. Maybe a bit strong but a lot nicer sounding. But look at the way the question is asked: inspires. The "s" at the end provides a sort of continuity to the context. What inspiresssss me. Not yesterday, not now, not in the future but always. So we are talking about a "what" that is everywhere all the time in order to constantly provide inspiration to one singular person - me. Not to the part of me that is influenced by peer pressure or the part of me that is trying to please my parents but me. Cherise. What deep down, as if I were the only person on this earth having never met another soul, inspires me?
What, denoting an omnipresent noun (person, place, or thing), continually inspires (passionately moves) me (I, singular, without outside influence)?
Can I answer any other way? Can there be an answer at its simplest most fundamental level that is not Him? I really don't think so. I don't discount other inspirations such as the joy of a child's smile or the various manifestations of selfless love but I am saying that under those things lies Him who is Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier. Therefore, I have to say that I (arguably we - everyone) ultimately derive my inspiration from His Presence. I don't just mean the Real Presence of the Eucharist although that is certainly a brewing blog post topic for another glorious day. But I mean His constancy. His willingness to be everywhere at the risk of never being noticed. That's inspiring.
He's like the wind I'm feeling right now. I ungratefully draw benefits from it as it relieves me from the heat (partly self inflicted by the blanket :P) but I don't pay much attention to it. Now I would notice if it were gone, this is true. Would we notice if Jesus were gone? Thankfully we never have to find that out.
And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age. Mt. 28:20This image of Christ as my constant companion has been with me for a bit now especially as my study abroad experience draws ever nearer. My fear of loneliness in an unfamiliar place of a new language and new faces has heightened my awareness of God's omnipresence as He reassures me that in fact I am never alone. This inspires me. This strips away all fear and anxiety and replaces it with confidence, boldness, and even a burning desire to take risks for this God-Man who steals more and more of my heart each day. I am moved into action by my Lord and my God. Partly because He holds me into being and allows for my existence and partly because I have encountered Him in His glorious resurrection. As much as my weak humanity sometimes wants to, I can't deny this. I can't act like my life hasn't been changed when in fact it is continually transformed.
Now, I don't want to give the impression that I perfectly respond to or even recognize that transformation all the time. There are many times that I actually stifle it through distractions in prayer, ignoring His promptings, or even flat-out telling Him "no." They aren't my prouder moments but they are part of me nonetheless for the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak (Mt. 26:41). Fortunately, we serve a God who desires to meet us exactly there in our brokenness. When we turn the other way, leave Him, and distance ourselves, He never sways. God is never far from us. We are only far from Him. That inspires me.
From my past posts and from my initial rephrasing of the question, you may think I purposefully aimed it this direction. And perhaps you are right. Perhaps I started this post, consciously or unconsciously, intending to cast God as my inspiration. But why not? If He isn't our inspiration (and at times I lie to myself that He's not) then we must remind ourselves by intentionally acting as if He were our inspiration. Because if we don't cast God as our inspiration, then how are we living and what are we living for? If not for Love Himself. If not to glorify our Beloved in order to sanctify our souls, and to reserve our place in one of the many rooms in His (our) Father's house?
So as a challenge I won't ask you to discover your inspiration. I won't tell you to analyze the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning. No. I am going to boldly tell you that He IS your inspiration and challenge you to discover what that means uniquely and individually for you. God has a specific purpose and plan for each of us that is wholly its own so the inspiration of His Presence will necessarily be manifested differently in everyone. That is a beautiful thing. That should inspire us all.
At the beginning, as I sat down looking around for inspiration, I spied His creation outside the window in a tree cast against the blue sky and saw the curtains move with the breeze which I then felt gently brush my face and smiling I thought to myself: look no further.
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