Living a balanced life (well...trying)

You know that religious community that I talk about all of the time - the Apostles of the Interior Life? Well, they promote living a balanced life as a means to joy and fulfillment. The first talk I actually heard them give was on exactly this. Needless to say I was attracted by the idea but it has taken me awhile to actually implement it. And as a college student, my schedule changes each semester so I'm basically starting over from square one each August and January. However, it does get easier after trying and failing so often. I mean...I know you've heard "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again". But why was I motivated to keep trying? Why bother adding one other task to the long list set before me? Because even the few little glimpses that I have had of this so-called "balanced life", whether it be in my own life or that of someone else, has been so powerful and so attractive. I just had to have it too.

I consider last fall semester (2013) to be the time that I really started to understand the beauty in balance. In a bit of a health kick, I started making time for running each day as well as eating healthy. I also had recently "upped my game" in the prayer realm and started praying the Liturgy of the Hours regularly. Finally, something that I never give enough credit to because I have nearly forgotten about it now, I gave up tv which had been something that ate up a lot of my time previously. With these simple changes in my life I found that I was genuinely more happy and less stressed.

Rule of Life

I essentially wrote a Rule of Life for myself. This was preceded by simply listing out all that I wanted to do with my day down to the very basics: prayer, mass, meals, exercise, study, class, shower, clean, fun, etc. With a list made and narrowed down to my priorities, I set out to give each "duty" a time, a place, in my day. Arranging them in the order that made the most sense to me and then shuffling them around for the next few weeks until they created a beautiful harmony in my life. That's what it feels like to live balance - like I'm living a song. My time in prayer and at mass is the melody because of its constancy and beauty. When I find myself off key or out of tune, all I need to do is find the melody to get back on track, and I know that without the melody there cannot be any harmony.

Sunday

To make it even better, in the spring, I started to observe "keep holy the Sabbath day" more strictly and gave up all school work, errands, and unnecessary labor on that day. This meant more work on Friday night and Saturday but it sure has increased my appreciation of Sunday. I can't wait until Sunday now and it's so refreshing to be able to honor this great day in even the attitude I have towards it. Sunday is no longer that dreadful day that precedes the terrible Monday. No. Sunday has literally become my funday. I can't help but smile at the thought of it being Sunday and you should see me on that day! Talk about happy and stress free! I get to take walks, bake kolaches or cook in general, hang out with friends, or even just rest without the guilt of not doing any school work because I finished it all the days prior in anticipation of my resting day. "Funday Sunday" anyone?

I also find it all the more appropriate because the extra time allows me to draw nearer to the Lord on this special day. It is in fact not only the day He ordained for rest but the one on which He rose from the dead. The day He made sense of His suffering Passion and Death. The day He opened up the gates of Heaven. The day He completed His mission and conquered all death and evil. The victory is won! We must celebrate that!

I am convinced that God did not just create Sunday as a day of rest for Him. Sure He may have been the first to utilize it but He desires that it be a resting day for us all. He created us. He knows the difficulty, the stress, the labor (perhaps more than anyone) it takes to be human. And He wants us to take time for ourselves to recharge and rediscover silence. He doesn't desire that we draw closer to Him on Sundays for His own sake (although He undoubtedly enjoys the attention of His beloved children) but because it is the best thing for us. The more we draw closer to our Heavenly Father, the more we come alive. The more we discover ourselves and find the path to greater fulfillment in joy. It really is an all around win-win if I ever heard of one. This is why Sunday is soooo important and so worth a working Friday and Saturday to be able to rest on it.

My Personal Balancing Act

With all of that said, I must admit that this semester has presented me with an especially difficult time of finding balance. By no means is every task weighed out in the perfect proportion and leaving me forever feeling refreshed and ready to go on to the next. Quite the contrary I have found myself fatigued and a bit overwhelmed at times. This is mostly due to the work load I find myself with this year in writing and reading intensive classes that won't seem to give me much of a break. However, the melody of my song this year is much stronger than it has been in the past. It is actually the only thing that has continued to improve during this past year of intentionally seeking balance. And for me, that is enough to prove that balance works. If it is bringing me closer to the Lord by showing me how much I really do depend on and need prayer in my life, than it is well worth it.

And that's what I'd like to leave you with today. If you see no other appeal to this idea of balance. If you interpret it as just a massive mess of list making and complicating schedules then simply consider implementing it solely for the effect it could (in my opinion, would) have on your prayer life. Before sitting down in front of my schedule and really thinking about what I was doing with each of my days, why I was doing it, and how I could be more fruitful in them, I didn't quite understand how important prayer was. I hadn't experienced the lightness of truly relying on the Lord as my friend, as the One to carry my burdens, or the One to just listen to me. But now that I have seen how much is actually required of me each day I know that I could never do it on my own or more accurately, I know that I could never do it without Him. My hope - my prayer - is that the reading of this blog could in any way, shape, or form do the same for you.

 

In your heart you know that it is not the same to live without Him.

-Pope Francis, Evangelii Gaudium

Encounter of a divine kind

So I recently had a beautiful experience that I would love to get detailed about but out of the respect of privacy I must not. However, the actual experience itself is not as important as the lesson to take from it.

What I can tell you is that I recently started up a conversation with a young woman and was left afterwards with a joy filled and content heart. Why is this? Because I had opened myself up to this encounter that the Lord had in store for me...well us.

You see, I didn't have to introduce myself to her and she didn't have to reciprocate the conversation I initiated. We were just both in a room together for a few minutes but I'd be willing to say that because of the openness we both had to the conversation, we left that room edified and better for having had it.

So naturally, as I am prone to do, I've been thinking. These kinds of encounters are awaiting us always if we just put ourselves in a position that's open to them. In The Weight of Glory C.S. Lewis says: “Next to the Blessed Sacrament Itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.” Wow! What does this mean? This means that we are each other's opportunity to encounter the Divine (that is the Creator who created each and every one of us with unique gifts and talents that point to Him).

But what does this mean for us in a practical application for everyday life? Well, I'd say its a challenge to say "hi" to that stranger on the bus or in class. A challenge to stop listening to music and listen to someone else's voice for a change. A challenge to be present to the people - the opportunities of encounter - around us.

We don't know the impact we can have or another person can have on us and maybe we won't ever even see the fruits from a conversation, but we need to encounter others and see them as the holy and divinely created beings that they (we) are.

Today we celebrate the Feast of St. Matthew who, before becoming an apostle, was a detested tax collector sitting at his post. But with one look - one encounter - his life was changed forever. Now we know that this encounter was so impactful because it was with Jesus Christ. So how does that relate to my blog post? Genesis tells us that "God created man in His own image." We are points of encounter for others, and they are the same for us. To reiterate what C.S. Lewis so beautifully states: outside of the Eucharist, Jesus Himself, the best opportunity we have to encounter something holy with our humanly senses is each other. That's powerful stuff.

So, like St. Matthew and the other apostles, go out as people who were sent for each other. Be a prayer warrior for your family, an accountability partner for your best friends, and a warm smile for a complete stranger. Be beacons of light, salt for the earth. Spread His love. His joy.

Like with St. Matthew, Jesus has looked on us with love. It's about time we start truly loving those that we see.

St. Matthew the Apostle pray for us.

#catholicprobs

So this past Saturday, I had to choose between two wonderful and joyous events to attend which only show how Catholic I really have become.

What were those two events? I'll tell you in a second but first I need to give a back story.

Many of us come to a point in our lives when we stop and think "whoa...look how far I've come." Saturday, or rather the day I realized I had to choose which event to go to on Saturday, was one of those days for me.

Three years ago I entered college with my faith on, what I considered, the "right track". I was already attending mass daily and had an attraction to the faith, but beyond that, I wasn't much different than the rest. Or was I?...

Here at St. Mary's, I found a community of Catholic college kids living their faith and having the time of their lives while doing it. I encountered a religious community that stressed prayer and balance. And most importantly, I encountered Jesus Christ in a more personal way.

Now, flash forward three years and imagine the subtle increase of prayer, knowledge, and love for the faith that has grown in me. (Check out my Who I Am blog page for an example). My closest friends are other Catholics also striving to grow in their faith and discover their Vocation (the path in life the Lord has created them for and called them to). Which brings me to the dilemma...

Katie Crandall, a now alumni of Texas A&M, and I met in the spring semester of my freshman year when she was my SI leader for Geography of Planet Earth. We then culminated our friendship in groups at St. Mary's (those led by the Apostles of the Interior Life in particular). Our friendship took us on many adventures including a whirlwind of a weekend pilgrimage to Hanceville, Alabama to see the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament and a week living together one summer eating ice cream, pizza, and watching documentaries that convinced us of the existence of Mermaids (I am not kidding, check it out here!)

Katie, Karen, and I in front of the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament

Only days before her entrance

Katie graduated in May of 2014 and spent the summer touring the States to visit all of her friends and family. She did this in anticipation of Saturday which was to be a day that would change her life forever. You see, Saturday Katie Crandall, my dear dear friend, entered a religious community as a first year postulant. This beautiful and young religious community (founded in the 1990s I believe) is The Sisters of Life, and they are located mostly in the North England area and Canada. Katie's convent is in the Bronx of New York City and upon entrance one cannot use any social media or modern forms of communication. The only means of communication Katie can use to speak with relatives and friends who don't live nearby is letter writing. And as beautiful as this is, it understandably caused Katie some stress which she relieved by visiting everyone she could before hand.
Katie invited me to come with her to New York to attend her entrance mass and see her off and I had every intention of going before I met...

Tatum McWhirter, an alumni of Benedictine College born and raised in Hastings, Nebraska (home to none other than Kool-aid itself) and I met this past summer in Rome. She was my welcoming committee and showed me around all of the must see sites both in my first few days and when I returned to Rome on an excursion with La Scuola di Dante Alighieri in Camerino. Tatum instantly captured my heart with her genuine smile and simplicity. Upon meeting her one gets the beautiful impression that with Tatum what you see is what you get. She possesses no hidden agendas or two-faced tendencies. Tatum is transparent in all good aspects of the word. Now I say this rather confidently after only having known her for a few months but I trust that my perception is correct.
Although I first met Tatum this summer in Rome, I must confess that I have known of her for quite some time now. You see, Tatum is/was in formation with the Apostles of the Interior Life (the religious community that live and minister here at St. Mary's). Therefore her name and face were familiar to me before my summer adventure.

Tatum and I in Rome after a night watching seminarians perform a comedy at the Roman Seminary

Tatum returned to the States at the beginning of August to make her own trip to see family and friends. She too was preparing for a life changing event but not one that would cut her off from the outside world but rather one that would tie her to it in a way that she hadn't previously known. Saturday September 6, 2014 Tatum McWhirter became a Bride of Christ and vowed herself to Him in poverty, chastity, and obedience according to the Rule of Life of the Apostles of the Interior Life. She therefore became a missionary of the New Evangelization and pledged her life to the Lord through the ministry of the formation of souls.

What does this all mean?
It means that I had to pick between the entrance of one of my closest friends into a religious community knowing that my time to see her after would be limited and the wedding of a new friend of mine who was becoming a full member of the religious community responsible for my own formation and one that I hold very dear to my heart. Talk about "#catholicprobs"! I assure you that this was not an easy choice but in the end my inner peace confirmed that I had made the right one.

Eccola! The blushing bride on her wedding day!