Wednesday, August 27, 2014

The Return

After all of this time some of you might have started to worry that I was done with blogging now that my trip has come to an end but...fear not for I enjoy writing about myself all too much to quit now!


With that said, my time back has been a bit of a blur. To be back in Texas at my home was amazing. They say that you don't miss something until it's gone but I don't think I ever realize how much I miss home until I am back. I had two beautiful weeks filled with all of my favorite things much like the two that preceded my summer. BBQ pork ribs, wiener roasts, hamburgers, gizzards on the pit, fried steak, steak wrapped in bacon, head sausage, kolaches...I pretty much made up for all of the meat deprivation I had this summer (not to say that the pasta wasn't absolutely delicious every time!). I also enjoyed the time spent with my family from domino playing nights to cards to pitching washers, showing my slideshow, chasing after a bird dog on the loose, or just talking about nothing and everything.

Hallettsville doesn't seem to have changed a bit minus the groundbreaking for a Pizza Hut (of which my feelings are a bit mixed seeing that eating American pizza now seems a bit like treason). I couldn't wipe the smile off my face all during my first daily mass back. Everything was so heartwarmingly familiar. Even the smell of the church scented of home. I also got to once again experience the unplanned catching up conversations that one can't avoid at a small town Walmart. It's amazing how one actually subconsciously budgets time in one's mind for going to town because it is inevitable to recognize nearly every face and stop to talk to at least a few. And as usual, the Lord was good to me in this regard because I was able to "run into" those who I haven't seen in a few years. Leaving was tough because each time I realize more how precious and rare the love I have there really is.


On a different note, it is very comforting to not have to worry about a language barrier here in the States but I have to admit I miss Italian terribly. Sometimes I still find myself forming sentences to prepare for an upcoming conversation before I remember that, as a native English speaker, I don't have to think in Italian with my fellow Americans.

Grandma fixing my mess of kolache dough!


Calling moving back to A&M a hassle might not cover the half of it. After 2 months living out of a carry on I found myself overwhelmed by the amount of clothes I have. Needless to say I tried my hardest to downsize my closet as well as in other categories of household objects. This process I did slowly throughout my two weeks home and finally Mom and Dad moved me up last Saturday. Believe it or not - although to believe it shouldn't be too hard - I just barely "finished" unpacking and arranging things today. (I am pretty much done at least.) I really like this new place. It is exciting to make it my home and I think I have much more room now. But as far as homes go in Bryan/College Station, there is nothing quite like St. Mary's. At mass this passed Sunday my heart was warmed all over as I caught eyes of many of my closest friends here. There is such a strong sense of family in this community or at least in the community of my close knit friends. To see them and embrace them is to truly embrace those that I love and want the best for.

And to keep it short, I'll end with a little story. I've been hanging out with different people all week and at one point during a fit of laughter and throw back music Monday night, I turned to my new roommate Alycia and said (and I quote) "I love my life." This moment for me was really defining because it happened so innocently and unplanned. There I was, a girl who just spent her dream summer in Italy, and yet I possessed all the joy I could ever need right there in route on good ole Welborn Road. What's the moral of the story Cherise? Well, it's not that I wasn't filled with joy in Italy. I was. Definitely. The moral is that I am filled with just as much joy here in every day things as I was there in extraordinary things. It is beautiful to get out and see the wonders that the Lord has created on this earth but those things will not fulfill you. What fulfills you is love and when you are surrounded by people you love, as I was blessed to be both in Italy and here, then you can't escape joy. (And for those of you who haven't seen The Giver, go because I want to spoil it for you all and expand on this post but out of the kindness of my heart, I will resist the tremendous temptation!) Just think about a time when you truly felt joy. In at least some way wasn't it tied to love? 

Thursday, August 14, 2014

The Italian Family Adventure...

My family in Italy!!
Sorry that it has taken me so long to post this. Between reuniting with loved ones back home, getting over jetlag, and organizing pictures, it has been a bit of a struggle to get this blog post written but I am happy to share this beautiful and eventful adventure I had with my family in Italy. It still amazes me that we actually did it! Go us!
My post will start with the first day of travel for my parents and end with our first day back...

31 July
Today I slept in a bit in an attempt to get back the sleep lost over my week in campeggio. In the morning Bea and I watched an Italian comedy called Il Principe Abusivo. I really liked it. I was about a princess who plans a relationship with a "peasant" in order to get good publicity and be noticed. It's a romantic comedy and even though it was difficult to understand with the Italian dialect that the peasant spoke sometimes, I enjoyed it a lot and Bea only had to explain the things that the tv skipped over in its less than perfect recording.

Giulia, me, and Chiara
Then this afternoon I went to the get gelato with Bea and two of her little cousins. They were super talkative and friendly with me so I enjoyed the time we spent together.
After, I went to mass at San Paolo's where I got to see Sr. Elena and Sr. Antonella as well as meet Sr. Antonella's mom. It was definitely nice seeing them again.
Finally, tonight I went to a birthday party with Bea. Today is the birthday of Fabiola and I actually knew a lot of the people at the party or had at least met them before. I enjoyed myself immensely. This time I even was separate from Bea for much of the time. Without her to buffer and correct my Italian I actually did rather well I think and surprisingly got compliments. At one point, I was asked to speak English so that they could practice their comprehension. At first it was very difficult for me. I couldn't form full English sentences. I was thinking first in Italian and even once I got going, my tendency was still to use Italian filler words like "but", "therefor", or "however". But after a bit it became more easy (finally) to speak my own language. But I love that Italian is becoming natural for me now. It's a shame that I have to leave and won't be speaking in the everyday way that I am now. And to my surprise and utter enjoyment, the people I've met here are expressing dislike at my leaving Sunday. Today Bea even said that I have a "stanza" (bedroom) to return to. How lovely it is to hear that. She's become like a sister to me. It will be strange not seeing her and the Tortosas everyday. I think I will miss them the most. Luckily I'll see almost all of my new found friends at church Sunday before leaving. (00:29 in "my" bed)

Aug 1
Today I went to mass with Elena and Antonella again. I said a final goodbye to Elisa (one of the girls in the Catholic co-fraternity here) after mass which was hard. She's such a wonderful woman full of life and joy. I enjoyed all of the time I spent with her and look forward to seeing her again sometime in the future. She's one who can so easily bring a smile to my face.
When I returned to the house I "helped" Bea finish cookies she was baking and then we had lunch. In preparation for the arrival of my family, we made tiramisu in the afternoon which is a traditional Italian dessert. And look out Texas because I got the recipe!
We took the cookies to Laura and chatted with her for awhile. She was one of the youth I met in the campeggio. After, we went to library to return the book which I of which I never read passed page 30. In anticipation of my brother's call, we came back to wait for it but it didn't come until much later than expected. I am very grateful for the patience of Marina and Maurizio and sorry for any hassle or worry we may have caused them. When we finally heard from them, we were informed that the missed their flight to Milan and lost a bag in Rome so wouldn't join us in Induno until tomorrow. Marina and Bea found them a bed and breakfast and Bea and I curled up on the couch for one last evening of Italian "The O.C.". The adventure has begun!

Aug 2
Unexpectantly, I saw Elena and Antonella at mass again this morning. Marina's dad gave me a ride like he has a few times before since he goes everyday.
Tonight is my last night with the Tortosa's. I can't believe this day has come and my heart is again confused. It's happy to see my parents who finally arrived today after some flight set backs but it hurts to leave my new found loved ones. After picking up my parents, we had a rather large but delicious lunch with Monica, Andrea, Edo and Pietro, and Isabella who are so kindly hosting my parents.
Then we headed to Sacro Monte and the city center of Varese after an hour of repose. Sacro Monte was really fun. The weather allowed us to walk the whole way with the twins (Edo and Pietro). It was nice to spend a bit more time with them too. They went to camp with me and are truly great guys. They study English so we were able to talk in both languages. For supper we ate light, not having much hunger and for dessert, we were joined by Davide, Francesca, Lapo, and GianLuca as well as Bea's grandparents (Marina's parents). It was a lovely evening of recounting stories and translating them. How difficult it is to speak both Italian and English but how wonderful too! I could not help but smile at my parents who didn't understand a thing of Italian because I remembered when I was the same and recognized how far I've come. It would be great to remain for longer both for the purposes of improving more with the language (especially pronunciation) but also for personal reasons of having developed relationships here. After everyone left, Brandon, Bea, and I played Maria Cart for a good 45 minutes, and I maintained my status of horrible but loved it all the same. It was also nice all day to have my family here to see where I've been all this time. I think for them that was the best part - to meet the people that have been taking such good care of their little girl and to see first hand what I've seen everyday here.
Marina's parents
Francesca, Me, Davide,
GianLuca, and Lapo
Again, I can't believe this is my last night here. The last thing I want to do is leave...this place, these people. The hardest people to leave by far are the Tortosa's. In particular, Bea and Marina who I passed most of my time with. Living with Bea gave me the glimpse of the life of sisters. We watched many an episode of the OC together (in italian), ate Nutella out of the jar with spoons, went to friend get togethers, shopping, and just chatting around the house or practicing the sounds in Italian that I can't seem to pronounce. And with Marina, I met nearly the whole town, was able to visit all of the most beautiful attractions, and was warmly welcomed into all activities. She cooked, cleaned, and drove me places. I truly found in Marina an Italian mom. In fact, I feel as if the Tortosa family is my Italian family and their home my Italian home. They will forever have a special place in my heart and prayers.

I keep being reminded that I can return as I talk about my reluctance to leave and this is both sugar to my ears and salt to my wounded heart. It's harder to leave a place knowing that I am wanted in return. But alas, I have to leave and thus must recognize the beauty in the time spent and the mission in the time ahead of me wherever the Lord leads me to next. (23:55 in my bed...for the last time)

3 agosto
What a gift! Giulio, Elena, Katia, Laura, and Don Stefano - who I thought I had saluted for the last time - were in mass today. Don even celebrated and talked about me in the homily. I was so excited when I saw them before mass and it was so great to get to have another moment with them before I had to leave. God is so good and knew that I needed to see them again and hear that homily and be reminded that I am following Him and only need Him - that those who I meet here and the places I go here are all gift. They are wonderful and even necessary sometimes, as He speaks to us through them, but they are His gifts to me that He can take back at anytime. And also, with the technology of this day and age, I can relatively easily keep in contact with these new friends and can be certain that today wasn't "goodbye". Don talked also about how making fishers of men was a metaphor of helping fish men out of the depths of sin represented by the water. Fish can't live without water and die when brought out but men can't truly live in the waters of sin and are brought to knew life when they are fished out. In our own way - through the vocation God has planted in our hearts from the beginning - we are called to be fishers of men and help bring others out of sin and closer to God. This can be done most noticeably in the priesthood with the sacrament of confession but also in holy friendships, the counsel of a consecrated person, or the loving guidance and discipline of a parent. What a great priest Don Stefano is. I have so much to learn from him! The last song at mass was one of my favorites. "Tu vieni e sequimi". It was about leaving all you have and going after The Lord. It was referencing the call of the first disciples which was today's gospel in the ambrosian rite. But I think it means more than just a leaving at the initial decision to follow Christ. I think we are repeatedly called to leave things, people, places throughout this life in our continued pursuit of the Lord. Today I had to leave new found loved ones because the Lord is calling me back to Texas to finish school and find Him in the places and faces back home. By not being attached to anything or anyone and remaining open to whatever it is that He asks me to be and wherever He asks me to go, I can be light for men and salt for the earth.
Maurizio, Bea, me, and Marina
Before leaving on the train to Milan with my family next to me and my Italian family standing outside the station, Marina asked me: "did you cry after Camerino? Cortina? Induno? Which was hardest to leave?"
I answered her truly: "yes, yes, yes. Hmmm..."
This is a good question. And it is hard to answer because each was difficult to leave for different reasons and maybe I'm just saying this now because it's the most fresh but I really think Induno is the answer. Why? Because there was a permanency here. I lived in a house, in my own room, with a family that treated me like one of them. I made friends and celebrated with them a wedding, birthday party, graduation, and just barely missed the birth of a first child. I prayed and worshipped with these people and shared the faith with them both it's struggles and triumphs. I spent a week in a tent, using bathrooms without toilets, and walking hours up and down in the Alps with them. And I sloppily and half-way conquered a foreign language with them (only by the grace of God and by speaking it with the only universal language of love). I found myself an Italian home with these people both in their town and in their hearts. I'm not sure how I merited such an experience but I know that I have the rest of my life to thank the Good Lord for it. There's no way I can go back to the States the same person now and I am surely not going back alone. Each and everyone of the people I've met on my trip here in Italy I carry in my heart and in my prayers. They say "with distance the heart grows fonder". I don't know if this is true but I know that my love for them is and that's all that matters. Whether or not I talk to them or see them again, I will always have this summer. However, I already have my heart set on a return...presto! (14:46 train from Varese to Milan)

Milan
The family in front of the Duomo

Saraii and me in Milan
Venice
As the resident Italian speaker of the trip, I took charge in Venice at the hotel and went to speak with the receptionist who actually called me "quasi italiana". She was also a very sweet lady who may have been being extra nice but I enjoyed the compliment all the same. The first night we spent walking around a bit, buying a couple of scarves, and snapping lots of pictures.
In the morning, we found a mass at 9 to go to and luckily left early because we only found it after getting lost first. Then we headed to the grand St Mark's square and church which was huge like the line we waited in to go inside! I'm glad we did though. It was quite beautiful.
To Mom's delight, the next activity was a 45 minute Gondola ride through Venice. I'll admit that I didn't have the most comfortable seat so it wasn't the most pleasant thing that I have ever done but it was nice to take part in this must-do activity of Venice and see the city from the water.
During our hour of repose in the room after lunch I researched about other Venician islands, and sure am glad I did. We went to Murano which is famous for the hand crafted glass but unfortunately the glass makers were finished working after 5. Went to burano and walked around the pretty bright buildings. Went to torcello and enjoyed the natural preserve and old churches. Went back to Venice to eat and then take another boat ride since we had paid for it and it was cool to see Venice by boat at night. Went to st marks square and walked around when there was less people and then went back to the boat to go back to hotel but mom lost her ticket. Prepared to walk back we headed to st marks and low and behold she found it! What luck! To lose it after all afternoon of use and then find it just like that! So we headed back to the boat, waited a bit, and then got on. Finally we are now in the hotel and after we get showered up from this long day, we hit the hay because tomorrow our train leaves at 7:25 to Florence! (23:18 Hotel Marte e Biasin)

Florence
After taking the early train to Florence, we walked to the hotel and left our bags because it's too early to check in. It's a house run by Franciscan nuns (Casa Santo Nome Del Gesu) so there's a beautiful garden and a chapel with Jesus in it!! :)
Casa Santo Nome del Gesu
First off we walked towards the duomo stopping by the house and church of Dante to see the gravesite of his famous muse Beatrice along the way. Then, we moved on to lunch at the same place I ate during our visit with the school of Dante Alighieri.
Same spot, calzone, and face!
Went to the Palazzo Vecchio for a tour of the museum and tower and boy was I in Disneyland! All (okay some) of what I had learned from the amazing Dr. Palmer in my Renaissance and Reformation Europe class became fresh in my mind. I quickly took charge of the family tour and explained to the best of my abilities as I marveled at the rooms we were visiting. I set foot in the apartment of Pope Leo X (Giovanni Medici) within which was a room for his father Lorenzo the Magnificent! I stood in the very room that held the brilliant mind of Niccolo Machiavelli. Although he wrote his finest works in exile, he surely started the formation of their thesis here. Finally, we ventured up to the tower which was well worth the extra few euros. And we perfectly made it as the rain was coming in. I say perfectly for two reasons. (1) they don't let people up the tower in rain so we made it just in time; (2) we got to literally see the rain as it approached.
The last rooms we visited were preceded, like the others, by a written explanation. Reading it, I was surprised to see that the English was bigger than the Italian and appeared first. Then I realized I had mistaken Italian for English in my ease of reading it. Whoa moment!!
As I toured the rooms, I didn't take many pictures. I decided to just soak in the moment and then marvel you with my words so much that you buy a plane ticket and go see it for yourself. But in any case, after this experience I must encourage you to visit a place you've studied about or study a place you are going to visit. It makes the experience all the more worth while and exciting. I could tell it was a more fatiguing and boring tour for some who came to see this "must see" florentine attraction (because sadly, aside from the town hall, that's really all it is now) for we walked a lot and there was a decent amount of reading and overwhelming amount of art to take in. However, for me, this was one of my favorite tours ever. Not because of what it is (no offense to your beloved Florence Machiavelli and Dante) but because I was seeing what I had studied and witnessing hard evidence of its actual existence. This is important because, at least for me, especially living in the States, I find it hard to always accept the concrete reality of the history I study of many centuries past. Seeing these places, I
trying my hand at tour guiding
could almost imagine the hidden conversations behind closed doors, laughter, tears, and all emotions in between; the scheming, bargain dealing, blackmailing, honest politicking (if that exists), triumph, and defeat that occurred here. History is alive. Not only is there evidence for that already established but also that which is currently, in this second, being made.
Ok...enough of my discourse showing my nerdy love for history. Another tidbit about the rain that I love: the Cellini statue I mentioned in my first post on Florence, who had a head that looked like it was bleeding when it rains. I saw it bleeding!!
And we are now sitting as the rain pours down, thunder breaks, and lightening streaks across the sky. Brandon is beside my praying the rosary, Dad is standing checking old emails (no wifi), and mom is next to me people watching. How nice to be with the family. I hope the rain lets up within the next hour though because I was really looking forward to mass at the Duomo at 6. (16:48 Palazzo Vecchio)

We finally ventured into the streets as the rain died down and arrived at the duomo a good hour before mass. Thinking we could go in a half our before, we waited and then I approached the "guard" at the mass entrance and he told us to return 5 minutes before mass. Maybe this was because of the weather but I was extremely agitated. First of all, I've recognized a lack of prayer and silence in the past couple of weeks and have been longing for time alone with Jesus. Why can't a person more easily go into a church? The guy laughed about us wanting to make a visit to the duomo instead of pray and go to mass. I'm sure this is because there are people with these intentions but with my exhaustion after a long day on my feet, I wasn't in the most forgiving mood. However, I prayed my rosary as we waited under a small hangover from the stores across from the mass entrance and awaited 5 minutes til 6. In my childish ways, I refused to enter a second earlier.
Mass however was beautiful. The priest took his time with the prayers and gave a refreshingly long and thoughtful homily for a daily mass. I must admit that I do miss the Ambrosian Rite a bit but it's also nice to be at home in the Roman Rite. Being that the mass is in Italian, I get to translate the homily and gospel message to my family afterwards and that's always a special treat for me. First, it gives me extra motivation to stay alert, second it allows me to literally share the Good News, and third (and least important because it can lead to pride) it assures me that I actually do understand this language...for the most part.
With an extra hop in my step from the grace and joy that participating in the mass gives me, we headed to Trattoria Roberto which I had quickly searched last night. It served the florentine steak that everyone in Induno would suggest to me when I talked about missing meat from back home. So
naturally almost all of us tried it but we weren't exactly prepared for its cost. Reading the menu wrong, we though we could select the size of the steak since it was priced per 100 grams. However, that apparently just means they pick a steak, weight it, and charge you that amount. Also, the steak was prepared very rare and I like my meat at least medium-well. With this said, it was a very good steak but for me it was too large and a bit bloody in the center. Therefore, naturally, I recommend you eat a florentine steak! If anything, for the experience or because you love steak cooked rare! I know y'all exist out there.
Side note: it's strange speaking English almost all of the time now. I speak a bit of Italian with secretaries, ticket office workers, and the occasional person I accidentally bump into. I really do miss that language!!
After supper and a stop for caffe, we headed to the hotel where we made ourself at home in the room. If I'm not mistaken (which happens believe it or not) this is a converted monastery so our room could very well have been that of a nun at one point. Pieces if evidence if this include the religious type painting on our ceiling and the door that reads the italian word for cloister but remains open. There are still sisters "running" it and a chapel downstairs. I made a visit to it tonight for some quiet prayer time and it was wonderful. When I entered, it was dark but I met another woman who I suppose is one of the sisters and in italian asked if I could prayer and how to turn the lights on.
After around a half hour, I attempted to connect to wifi but my phone failed me so I allowed my computer the victory, saved myself some time, and halfway planned Assisi.
Man we sure our getting through this journey fast. Talk about epic. I can't believe we were in Venice yesterday...and Florence today! What a wonderful life we are living. Love you Jesus!! (00:08 Casa Dello Santo Nome Di Gesu)

Florence - 6 agosto
I woke up and prayed for an hour this morning which was glorious. I found a little upstairs chapel here at the Casa Santo Nome del Gesu.
After the nice complimentary breakfast, we walked around Florence since we had to wait for the car we planned to rent and found our way to a place overlooking the city. Here I had a couple of me and Daddy's famous big laughs. When this happens we always end up in tears and unable to breathe. It really is the best!
Went to the car place and found out we needed 2 credit cards with the same name which we had, but they didn't take discover. Therefore we couldn't get our car because of its "prestige" that calls for 2 credit cards. There was another but it was a fiat and too small. I had a gut feeling that we shouldn't drive. I had it before but the relief that swept over me at having to go to the train station instead confirmed my instinct. Thus, we set off to the train station which thankfully wasn't too far. I wanted to call someone I knew in Italy. In fact I guarantee that those I didn't call are going to be upset that I didn't call them in the sense that they would have wanted to help but I couldn't find wifi and didn't know how to function the pay phone (21st century problems). Finally we took a number and got a guy to send us to the electronic ticket booth where we managed to buy 4 tickets with cash only after having both Brandon and my credit cards denied. We got on the train with 5 minutes to spare by the gracious help of an English speaking and understanding Italian woman. I am a bit flustered now. At one point I wanted to cry or just give up and click my heels together for home. In that moment, I could also only think of one place to run to and that was the catholic chapel I had spied in the station. I just wanted to go cry in the arms of Love Himself and be comforted by Him who created comfort. I didn't find my way there - mostly because I was preoccupied with continuing to find a way to precede with the trip. Thankfully I had the level headed and calm presence of my big brother Brandon to keep me from freezing and refraining from further action. And now we find ourselves on a regional train to Assisi. I must admit I am more pleased with this than driving although in theory we'd already be in Assisi if we had drove. I'm happy we decided to go there though instead of straight to Rome. I look forward to a visit to the hermitage and San Damiano! S. Francesco e Santa Chiara...pregate per noi.(14:25 finally headed somewhere!)
Frustration continued but then I heard the song "This is the Stuff" by Francesca Battistelli, a Christian artist, and I remembered. It's not important that we get to see all of this stuff. Yea we don't want to waste money on unnecessary tickets but we are together - something we haven't been in awhile - and we are in Italy. Didn't You teach me this summer that the things I see, as beautiful and as relevant to You that they are, aren't all that important. These places. They are just places. It's the people, the encounters, the attention I've paid to where You are in everything. And in the most grand and ornate cathedral the most precious beauty is that which is contained in the small gold box tucked away in a side altar somewhere next to the single red flame. You are holy Lord. Must I continue to forget these basic truths? Teach me Divine Master. (18:13 on the last - I hope - train to Assisi)

So it has been a day since I've written and lots has happened! First of all, I need to start with an apology (or perhaps for some of you a piece of news to relieve you) this won't be as detailed or long of an account. We misunderstood the ticket and thinking we needed to change trains we "missed" our first stop and found ourselves in the Italian Aggieland - Castilion florentine. We took a train back to the other stop and waited for an hour on the next train for Assisi and then got off again before, by finally asking someone, we realized the train went directly to Assisi. Arriving in Assisi 4 hours later than expected and with 4 km between the station and our hotel, we took a taxi from a very nice taxi driver who complimented my Italian. Our hotel Lo Scudo is definitely worth the recommendation. Being run by a verry attentive and kind woman. I found a missed call from Marina awaiting me which I returned with a large smiled. Funny enough, Bea answered and I, like others as she told me, mistook her for Marina! Hearing both of their voices was a great consolation and mood booster after the long day. We journeyed out to see the city a bit and get pictures of the beautiful surrounding landscape.

Aug 7 Thursday Assisi
Today was a very full day! We went to mass in the Saint Francis Basilica at 7 am to start the day off
right. Breakfast was ready for us back at the hotel and our dear hostess called us a cab to get us to the hermitage of St. Francis. This trip took me back to the campeggio a bit because we more or less hiked to the different caves of St. Francis's closest friends. What a beautiful place and how nice to be in nature away from the crowds. After we returned by the same taxi and arranged a deal with him to keep our bags and take us to the train station later in the day. This was very kind of him and helped us more than he could ever know because after lunch, we headed to San Damiano down the hill and with the luggage that would have been miserable! How beautiful to be there again. Going to places twice, especially close together, affords a person the chance to look at things differently and discover knew details before unseen. Having done the project over Francis and Clare in the spring semester, I feel ever closer to them and being able to "letteralmente" set foot in the places they walked, kneeling where they knelt, before the crosses that spoke to them, and adoring the same Lord
was an experience that just can't be expressed accurately with words. The final place we visited in Assisi was near the station: Santa Maria degli Angeli. Within this church lies a smaller church and chapels that were significant in both the lives of Francis and Clare. Being the first time for me, it was very exciting. To be in the place Clare fled to on the night of her wedding to Christ so near where Francis breathed his last. Wow. Oh lovely Clare and humble Francis, y'all knew...yall understood the secret to living with joy, love, and peace: Christ. Oh Lord, may that I learn the true meaning of having nothing if I don't have You.
I'm certain that I left out much but also content that I lived it. Some things are made just for the moment and I'm okay with that. There were many moments of laughing to tears and butting heads that I'm sure will be fondly and debatably recalled at family gatherings or while browsing through the scrapbook mom is sure to make of this trip.
Now, we are headed to our final destination before home - Rome! This should be interesting. I must admit I'm the least excited about this one. I like Rome. It's beautiful. But it's huge and there are TONS of tourists (aka English speakers). Also, on the final leg of my stay in Italy, I find that I am tired and regrettably emotional. It doesn't take much to fluster me in my attempt to balance the two conflicting desires I have to return home and to remain in the home Italy has become for me. Also, I've been to Rome three times now as well and can't help but dread the constant go that these next days hold ahead of me. However, seeing the excitement of my family and getting to be there for their first experiences as well as share first experiences with them is a joy in itself and perks my spirits! And in any case, ready or not, here we come! (18:56 on the train to Rome!)
Gelato: Daddy says it's better than Bluebell. [Gasp!]
This guy.
On the train I had the joy of showing dad his first pasture of cows. He's been looking for them and complaining that they bale so much hay here and serve big steaks in Florence but "there ain't no cows!!" What can I say? It really is the little things, but he was upset I saw them first so shortly after God granted him the opportunity to see his very own herd of dairy cows. "Cherise! I saw my own cows!" His smile was worth my herd not being good enough!! (20:10)

Excitement picks up as we enter Rome! "Meno male" I have the security of having been here before and the tiny bit of confidence I have accumulated because of it. (20:24)

So we made it to Rome and miraculously got to our hotel. Well, not miraculously but the place gave us good directions from Termini and after taking a bit of a detour, we made it. Unfortunately the guy didn't receive my email asking to arrive late and we had to enter by way of another couple. Before the door of "Casa Giada" which is merely a remodeled apartment of 4 rooms in an apartment building of all sorts of other places and residences, I came this close to phoning a friend in Rome when the guy showed up! Phew. The room is nice and we are located so so close to the Vatican! Even though it was late, our tummies demanded food so we found a nearby restaurant and now, after returning, we are taking turns with the shower and hitting the sack. We hope to see many great things these two short days in Rome! (23:31 Casa Giada)

Okay so day one in Rome. Where to start? Lines. We waited in lines so much today. First to enter into St. Peter's Basilica where we attended mass and viewed it, and then to climb to the top of its Cupola! And boy did that staircase get a bit tight?! For all the waiting we did, I was actually a bit disappointed with the destination. There were so many people jam packed up there that it was difficult to enjoy and I honestly just wanted to get started on the way back down. But we snapped some pictures and soaked in the German being spoken all around us by the group of German youth that surrounded us. We finished these two seemingly simple things by around 1:00 pm but started a little before 9:00 am.
Next we found some lunch before making our way to St. Mary Major and the Church of Our Mother of Perpetual Help. In St. Mary Major, we attended 45 minutes of adoration of the Blessed Sacrament and sang Vespers. It was very beautiful with the incense and organ as well as very needed after a long, hot morning. In the Church of our Mother of Perpetual Help, I enjoyed a closer view of the icon to the Marian Devotion that I hold so dear. We then grabbed some cold ones at a nearby bar where we plotted our evening. After waiting as Brandon bought a Redbull (mistake #1) and then giving him the map (mistake #2), "we" (cough-he-cough) decided to WALK to the Pantheon (doable) and then back to the hotel (WHAT?!). But guess what?! We made it! But only after seeing all we had planned as well as the alive and hoppin' Piazza Navona, governmental-looking district with all of its Italian security offices, and stopping to eat at a quaint little place that housed our many laughing fits. Walking across the bridge towards the Castello d'Angelo, I had a thought I considered brilliant at the time and wanted to share with y'all! I think that the way people take pictures can tell you a lot about them. I will use my parents for an example. Dad likes to zoom in on the people and ignore the scenery. For him, the people are most important, especially the faces as they convey the emotion of the person and are generally the key to how the person feels or what the person is thinking in a given moment. Mom, on the other hand, likes to get the whole picture (even if that means the people are almost minuscule). She likes to get it just right and capture the moment as perfect as possible for all involved which is evident in the care and patience with which she takes the picture almost always counting to 3 before.
Picking up some gelato and a bag of assorted cookies for breakfast tomorrow, we headed to here to shower and hit the hay! We aim to visit both the Vatican museums and colosseum tomorrow and need to get an early start! Wish us well! Only one long day on our feet and a long day on our butt separates us from home now! (00:24 Casa Giada)

Last day in Rome - 9 Agosto
Today we awoke decently early and set out to the line for the Vatican museum. Unfortunately, the guys trying to get us to dish out loads of extra money to skip the lines and listen to them talk about the exhibits inside were right: we waited around 2.5 hours! BUT, I enjoyed catching up with the parents about various things going on at home and the time passed relatively quickly. Inside the museums, we saw many MANY things. It is almost impossible, I'd say, to read about each thing and see it all. We stayed for a good couple of hours and didn't really focus on learning as much as seeing. My favorite part was actually the rooms and structure itself rather than
the artifacts. I liked reading about the different rooms to learn who had inhabited them, when, and with what styles they were constructed. Ironically, being that his controversial papacy was arguably one of the worst, I loved seeing the Borgia Apartments and our taste in style (Gothic) matched perfectly. I love the structures (churches) that are painted inside with dark hues of blues, reds, purples, greens, etc. I love the richness and the warmth of this type of style. I also loved seeing the Sistine Chapel even though it was crowded and noisy (mainly because there were guards announcing "Silenzio!" Into a microphone every few minutes).
In the afternoon, we grabbed our bags from the hotel, dropped them off at the baggage depository in Termini Station and headed to the Colosseum-or as my father so fondly referred to it: "the big thing." Before entering the stage of the Gladiators and naval re-enactments however, we avoided the long line by beginning at the Palantine Hill and Roman Forum. All of it was so unreal! To truly be there where the Romans lived their everyday lives. Wow. And the colosseum. It was massive! What a site to see!
After, we started to head towards the church I had looked up for Saturday vigil mass. Along the way, we wanted to pick up gelato. It was about 5:30 and we wanted to catch a 6:30 mass so we needed to eat right away. However, we couldn't find any gelaterrias (we're in Rome - strange right?). So when we finally stumbled upon the church, we decided to double check the time since the internet isn't the most reliable source (I know, surprise right?). And good thing we did because it turns out that "mass isn't held Saturday evenings during August. (Ok?) but we were given directions to another church and hurried over. In Rome just about every other building is a church so finding it wasn't an issue. However this one also didn't have the mass we were looking for. At this point I got a bit desperate because this mass was to count for Sunday since we are traveling all day tomorrow. Knowing that our intentions were to go, I trusted in the Lord and continued to ask Him to give us a mass to attend. At the same time, I was worried about our bags because we had to retrieve them before 11 pm. I didn't want to be rushed in our last meal if we ended up at a mass that didn't start until 7 pm. Hearing church bells (it was 5:45 pm) we continued to walk until we were in front of what we thought was the papal basilica St. John Lateran. Seeing gates closed all around it our faces fell. How can all three churches we looked at not have a Saturday vigil mass? This is Rome for crying out loud!! So, thinking to continue towards the church with mass at 7 pm, we crossed the street and walked around to the "back" of St. John Lateran and lo and behold, THAT was the basilica and there was mass at 6! It was perfect! The Lord takes such good care of us!
Then we wondered around for a bit in search of food and ended up taking the metro back to termini and eating in that vicinity near our bags and transportation to the airport. Ending with a final gelato
(mine was awesome: Creme Caramel) we headed to the station to get our bags and jump on the 10:10 bus to the airport. Coming to the bus stop with our bags I realize that 10:10 in Italy means AM and there are no longer buses running. Just when I thought we were home free from "adventures" like this, we found a new dilemma. But, after some debate and argument, we "agreed" to take a taxi which got us at the airport around an hour ago. Now we wait to check in and eventually board our flights which are both around 7 am. Here's to "sleeping" our last night in Rome in an airport and having safe travels back home!

Things I've learned from this trip: being organizer and leading the way is hard! I don't know how my parents did it all those years with me and Brandon as kids. All I remember is going along without any cares in the world which I think was their experience this time. When I was stressing and running around trying to get train tickets or my map pointed the right direction, they were looking around and taking in the surroundings of a foreign country. In a way, I think we've both been given a gift. Brandon and I got to see what it's like (in a sense) playing the parent role as far as leading the vacation goes. This allows us to appreciate more all that our parents have done and do for us. And for my parents, they were able to enjoy the trip without worry, stress, or the weight of providing the "perfect experience" like they have in the past. They merely got to go with the flow and enjoy it all. Now of course the roles weren't black and white and there were certainly moments when Brandon and I went to the parents for help or advice but overall, I am very overjoyed with the week we had. For me, it means the end of a dream summer in Italy and a return to my home which I love and miss. Miss Italy I will but to be home will be so beautiful and in these last days, I've felt an increasing tug in my heart towards Texas. And what good timing because bright and early tomorrow morning, I'm heading for home! (01:12 Fiumincino Airport).

And after unsuccessfully sleeping and deciding to charge my gadgets, I found out I was in the wrong terminal! Mine is different then Brandon, Mom, and Dad's! (04:04)

In ten minutes I have to get on the plane and leave Italy. My stomach is in knots. It's actually quite similar to the feeling I had before the flight I took here. I don't want to go. There's no denying that but I long to be home. There's no denying that either. Above all else, though, all I can think right now is "Lord, You are so good to me." (6:14 FCO Terminal 1 Gate B9)

And now I know why boarding started so early for my flight to the US. Security is tight! The line was long, I was asked a series of questions, and many people (not me thankfully) were taken to the side and patted down. Then I had to fill out the Customs Report. I don't know the worth of stuff in my luggage more less the names of everything, but I didn't buy much so that made it easier. The airport itself is also huge here in Paris. I had to go through a lot to get to my gate but easily made it in time and got my passport stamped! Whoop!
I'm not sure the length of this flight. It's hard to tell with the time change but I'm short on sleep so I'm thinking that's the first agenda. I'm also quite hungry so I hope I don't sleep through lunch. That would be awful!!! In any case, I am definitely planning on watching a movie or some tv! And it will be in English! How revolutionary for me this summer and how weird. But also how much more relaxing! I won't have to constantly focus in order to remotely understand. I'll probably be able to understand without even trying. It's crazy how you notice the ease of your own language when in combat with another.
Next to me is a French woman reading a book in English. I know she's French and going to NY because of her Customs Report and not because we talked passed "hi". I'm so shy and bad with this kind of stuff and now it feels too late to offer my name or ask a general question. Maybe later...let's get some rest shall we?! (10:36 on the Delta plane, Paris France)

11:02 - 11 Agosto
So I had an item confiscated by customs: my recycled water bottle filled with Roman water. I also saw a guy in boots for the first time in over 2 months. But most exciting of all, I sat by an Aggie on the plane to Dallas, and we talked the whole way back! That's what I'm talking about: Texan and Aggie friendliness!
Landing in Dallas was a bit weird. I could use my phone normally, nothing (I mean NOTHING) was in Italian, and the airport employees greeted me with "welcome home" (how'd you know?! :)). But regardless of all of the English, I keep speaking Italian -especially "grazie". It's just habit now I guess. With the French airplane crew, I defaulted into Italian when they greeted me in French rather than in English but even at the On the Border in Dallas (had to get some Tex-Mex in me) I thanked the hostess on the way out with "grazie"! Oh Italian - how I miss you so.
We stayed the night at Brandon's house due to jet lag and all slept very well. I went to mass this morning and two things happened that haven't in awhile: (1) I drove! (2) it was all in English and I understood without deep, almost painful concentration!! And the mass here. It's so organized. People kneel, stand, sit, respond all at the same time and go to communion in an ordered fashion. It's almost too civilized. I had begun to enjoy the Italian mass which reminded me of how heaven meets earth and our broken humanity at each mass. Today is the feast of St. Clare. How appropriate since her and Francis guided me this summer and I loved my two visits to Assisi.

I suppose the trip has come to a close but I am sure that our adventure as a family will never end just as it didn't first begin with my parents landing in Italy.
We are so goofy and I love it!!


Friday, August 1, 2014

Campeggio

Here is a blog post about my adventure of the Campeggio with the Church of Saint Giovanni Battista in Induno Olona, Lombardia, Italy. The Campeggio was held in Ceresole Reale, Piemonte, Italy.
I took notes throughout the trip and here are the pieces I strong together for this post. It's a bit long so...brace yourself!
Tuesday 22 July (Day 1)

...and we're off! Seeing Marina waving me away was a bit sad. I'm gonna miss her and the family for this week. It feels a bit strange to be away from them. But it also feels a bit like I'm back in Camerino again. I'm on a bus and there's a guy on the mic speaking in italian but this time there isn't any other languages on the bus - solely italian.
I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a bit nervous but I'd also be lying if I didn't say I was very excited! Right now I'm sitting alone on the bus even though I was hoping for a companion. I'm sure there will be plenty of time for conversation this week as I'm sharing a tent with 9 other girls. In any case, I'm excited to see this camp in action. Marina told me this morning that the Oratorio is an idea founded by St. Giovanni Bosco (St. John Bosco). This Oratorio seems very active with lots of activities for the youth that exceeds the normal catechesis classes and handful of retreats. One of those extra activities is 8 days in the mountains (but as I found out later, it used to be 2 weeks)! This idea of the Oratorio sounds really great and it's awesome to see so many kids united in friendship and anticipation for an event founded on the basis of the faith and it's growth!
The group I'm with is 15-17 year old boys and girls. I was told this morning that it's only the second year they are together in the camp at this age level so that should be interesting. I'm happy there are others my age and older called educators or cooks. The educators participate in the camp but take a bit of a leadership role. The cooks are usually parents who do just that: cook. A very important element to the week! There is also a young priest present (25 years old) who will celebrate mass for us each day and offer other moments of prayer and reflection as well as a lot of fun from what I've heard! He's been there the whole summer however, poor guy, with the little kids, medium, and now superior. I'll have to let you know more once I've experienced a bit. Looking forward to taking you with me on this journey!
Expectations/desires for this week:
Alone time in nature
Increased prayer
Increased silence (we'll see)
Great memories
LOTS of italian
Growth in humility and courage
(7:53 on the bus again - Induno)

I just prayed morning prayer with Don Giuliano and we talked a bit. I asked him about how he discovered his vocation to be a priest and the simplicity in his story was beautiful. It literally lasted 2 minutes. He simply  smiled, chuckled a bit and said that when he was young he saw seminarians (those studying to become priests) at his parish and thought about being one. Then he entered seminary (the school for becoming a priest) at age 12 and became a priest in 1967. His story was that simple and straight forward. What simplicity, fidelity, and trust in the Lord's will. I also asked him what his favorite part of being a priest is and he said the parish. He worked in schools also but he said the parish is most complete because there are all ages, healthy and sick, and lots of youth to work with also. It was really a beautiful conversation and I'm thankful he came and asked me to pray morning prayer with him. I've gone to mass a lot with him at San Paolo but this was the first time we've really had a conversation. I don't think he's staying for the camp but rather just accompanying us on the trip up there. He lead us in prayer when we entered the highway and that was beautiful as well because all was silent and everyone (seemingly so) prayed along. Another beautiful thing is that today is the Feast Day of St. Mary Magdalene in the Ambrosian Rite. She's one of my favorites and I'm happy to have her guidance as I start this campeggio. (8:37 still on the bus)


So each campeggio has a theme and this one is: San Francesco! Remember that I did my semester project from my Renaissance and Reformation Europe History class over him and Chiara? Wow! How about that for confirmation that I should be here?! I am looking forward to a beautiful experience with reflection on Francis, his discovery of the one true question of vocation in our hearts, and community.
I also was able to sneak away this afternoon and do a meditation by the river with the sound of running water - beautiful! It was so wonderful. The river is right near the camp and the water is loud enough to cut off all other sound. With my back facing the people, my eyes on the beautiful creation, and my heart set on the Lord, I was able to enter into a intimate moment of gratitude and reassurance for what is to come in the week ahead.
 

I enjoyed today which was filled with laughter and sports. The camp is split into different teams. My team is yellow and called Frate Sole because the theme is St Francis and he write a canticle to Brother Sun, Mother Earth, Sister Water, and Brother Fire which are appropriately the names of the teams. We played different games(volleyball and soccer) and rotated with who was against who. Throughout the week, there is a competition to see which team can accumulate the most points. And this is also a smart idea because everyone knows that participants give a greater effort when there is something at stake - even if it is just pride!
Now that's a good looking group right there!!!
Edo Tres, Marco, Marti, Simone, Chiara, Davide,
Michele, Giulia (GiDi), Laura, Giulio, and Me
Fanzwa - the Indian seminarian living in Induno Olona this summer and is also at the camp this week - invited me to pray vespers (evening prayer) with him and the young priest Don Stefano this evening. So we did and I made an "appointment" with Don to hear his vocation story. I can't wait!
Also, as a note for my Grandma who is always worried that I am not eating well enough, we are eating probably too good here, and I'm saying this after having only eaten lunch and snacks! That's right, there is a scheduled time for a snack ("merenda" in italian) in the afternoon. Today is was Nutella on toast and hot tea - which, surprisingly for those who know me, I drank and liked. (19:30)

Tonight we played a game called "castle" and is the brain child of one of the seminarians, Matteo Crepaldi. Basically our group of 50 is split in two - one goes and sits together in darkness with their flashlights as a castle. The others wait 15 minutes and begin to search for the castle which is now in darkness. Once the castle sees the lights nearby, they turn theirs on and yell "castle". Immediately the other group cuts their lights and commence to hide. The goal is to enter the castle without being recognized. Therefore when someone from the castle shines on another trying to get in, they start yelling the names of the people that person resembles. If you are recognized, you must enter the castle as a hostage. The game is played twice (switching roles) and the team with the most hostages or who was able to invade without being identified, wins. The game was pretty fun. Difficult for me because I don't really know anyone the way these people know each other. They can identify not just clothing but the way people run or hold themselves. Plus, they have another big advantage over me: they actually know people's names. The game reminded me of something my junior high or high school friends would have liked to do at one of the big get togethers we'd have in the country. The problem with the game is that it can be quite dangerous if you're alone wondering in the dark as was the case for me. But, for me it was a bit of a dream. I was in complete darkness in the woods with the stars shining down on me. I felt like Pocahontas! The downside, I wanted to invade the castle and in my haste slipped a bit and wounded my shin. Fortunately no one saw but unfortunately, with the way I bruise so easily, it'll be very obvious once I am wearing shorts. However, humility is a virtue I need to grow in so...
Overall today was good. Tomorrow is a gita (hike) so we'll see how that goes. They said it'll be easy which should be good to ease me into it. I love being in the mountains with a river nearby and wooded areas. Nature is so beautiful and wonderful to be in but I have to be honest with myself and know that I am not in the greatest shape for walking around in the mountains at a brisk pace much less a leisurely one. But I'm excited none the less! (00:34 in my bed hoping sleep comes soon)

Wednesday 23 July (first hike)
What fatigue! I made the choice to go the second round with the boys and 2 other girls. Man was it difficult but I finished my rosary and now I'm at the top before a beautiful view. Worth it? Yea sure. Haha. It was beautiful to walk it with The Lord however and for awhile we walked across a beautiful meadow with flowers and a small creek of fresh, drinkable, (delicious?) water. I'm scared to go down though because it's very steep. We'll see. Lunch was a nice reward for making it to the top and for the last few minutes I talked in italian to Francesco and he responded in English. He's going to visit America this August and is the cousin of Sr. Elena so I am looking forward to getting to know him better. This conversation also kept me occupied and helped me make it to the top with more ease. Now it's pretty cold up here so I'm wrapped in my pullover and towel. Tomorrow I anticipate sore legs. Very sore legs. (12:45 2551 meters up)

Francesco!


So it started to rain during our descent and I got soaked! But it was awesome! Marina had given me a poncho so my backpack and torso remained dry. I felt like I was in The Lord of the Rings, on The Oregon Trail or some other fantasy land on an epic journey and it made me realize that that's exactly what's happening for all of us except its better because it's reality! Today, my journey was literally on foot in the rain but sometimes in the journey of life, there are other "rains" that come and change our plans or dampen our feet but we must keep going and find our way home to a hot shower and dry socks! (The analogy is going a long way right now because I'm so happily warm and changed into different clothes!)
After returning, we had mass in the dining hall because it continued to rain. Then we had supper and now I am awaiting the bell for coffee. I'm in Italy so I've stopped turning down coffee! Haha!
The camp is still difficult because it's with a lot of familiar faces but no established friendships. However, everyone really is generous with me; giving me a smile when our eyes meet, calling me by name, cheering me on when I'm almost at the peak, and offering their time as I stumble through my italian words. These are some A-class folks here. I'm so blessed! Lord, You are too good to me!!
Also I think I forgot to mention that our tent is fantastic. It is the newest and biggest of the ones here and I hardly feel like I am camping. We are sleeping on cots with 2 layers of cushion on which we place our sleeping bag and cover(s). Some people bring more than one cover because it gets very cold at night here...so they tell me. (20:40 in the tent)
 


It's difficult not being able to spend a holy hour before the blessed sacrament here. I understand that I am with God everywhere and that I certainly can see Him in His creation whether it be the people I meet or the nature I'm surrounded by but there is something different about being in the presence of the Eucharist. It's the way that Jesus Himself decided to leave Himself with us so that we may never be apart, so that we may remember Him. ("Do this in memory of me") Seeing Him in the Eucharist only during mass is not enough for me. And I know that more than ever now. I also know how important prayer and conversation with Love Himself is for my everyday life. It's difficult to find time for it here in campeggio and I find myself missing and longing for those moments of silence and meditation. This for me is also strange a bit because I am usually afraid of or discouraged by silence but here in the midst of around 50 high schoolers, I'm so hungry for it! Just a moment of silence to be alone and talk with my Lord please!

Tonight I was included in the leadership meeting and this gave me a great joy. It reminded me of my days helping lead Teen ACTS Retreats and staffing Aggie Awakening. This meeting was, however, conducted in italian so a bit difficult to contribute to but overall I really enjoyed being there. And after talking about the kids here awhile, I felt inside of me a desire to help them know The Lord and desire His will. So of course I suggested increased prayer. Now, I know that this can be difficult with that age group because at that age I didn't properly know how to pray much less want to and silence scared me but once I found my way into the life of prayer, I found myself transformed and leading a life of more joy, peace, and love than I'd ever known before. I want that for these kids. They are all so great with such beautifully unique capabilities and God has created each of them for a particular purpose. How exciting and wonderful! I want to help them find that purpose so they can achieve the utmost happiness possible in this life and then be overwhelmed by the unspeakable joy of the Lord in the next! And appropriately we talked about St. Francis's call today and his question of "Lord what do you want that I do". The kids were encouraged to reflect on this question and respond! How beautiful! But I'm afraid there wasn't time enough or sufficient desire for reflexion. But what an exciting question! I wish they could feel the same zeal I do for this concept of discovering one's vocation! It really is a thrill and one that doesn't end at its realization but continues throughout one's life as he or she strives to live the vocation in the way intended by the Lord. But, we'll see. As I said, it's difficult with the language barrier but I'm looking forward to being the instrument of the Lord in more ways than just with the spoken word. I don't know what You want Lord or if I will even see the fruit of any works you could be doing in me this week but please allow me to be open to them all the same. (1:00am in the tent headed to bed)
The Leadership Team!
Fuma, Toto, Giulio, Crep, Fanzwa,
Me, Elena, Bea, and Don Stefano


Coorvee
As a side note, I'd like to introduce you to the system of service here in the camp. This is a thing called "coorvee" (it is disputed whether or not it should be spelled "corvee"). The word is French and simply signifies turns or chores. Each day, a different team (of the ones I mentioned earlier) takes up the role of coorvee. The services revolve around the meals. Thus, the coorvee sets the table, serves the food, cleans up the table, and washes the dishes. It's not exactly easy or fun when there are a total of more than 50 people but when your team gets along like mine did and plays music during the work, it's not so bad. I actually found myself enjoying this time. Not only did I get to do some concrete service but I also had the opportunity to bond more with my team and learn about the Italian culture and language as well as teach a bit about America and English which I learned just about everyone is very interested in.

Thursday 24 July

I went to confession in italian today! The priest here, Don Stefano is 25 and very approachable and easy to talk to. He participates in all of the games and activities of the campeggio, eating with us, and even sleeping in a tent too. He also celebrates all of the sacraments for us: mass everyday and confession for around 2 hours today. My confession went well. Beforehand I did my examination of conscience with my handy-dandy italian-English dictionary and had everything written out. And luckily, I understand almost everything in italian so when Don gave me counsel or asked questions I was able to follow. It's been almost 2 months since I've gone to confession and I'm used to going every two weeks in the States so it was really good to go to the sacrament and receive absolution and grace. We talked about prayer at the camp and how it is difficult without adoration of the Blessed Sacrament but it's not that we no longer adore the Lord. We adore Him in the nature which is His creation but also in the height of His creation which is each other. In the community we are building, there are many opportunities for prayer and praise of our Lord. I found myself convicted after this conversation and in a state of embarrassment for my initial impression that there was not much prayer in the camp. And after the first few days, I saw the increase of time in reflection and times set aside for both personal and community prayer.
Edo, Me, and Martina (Marti)
After that, we had lunch and then played a really fun game. I don't know what it is called (or if it even has a name - I think it was invented by a staffer here) but it was simple and wonderful! Everyone had a headband with a number on it and the goal was to call out the numbers of others and hide your own but you couldn't hide it with your hands, clothing or hair. You had to use trees, the ground, other people, or some other creative way you could think of. As in every game, we played with our team (mine's yellow and they're awesome). We must have played for at least an hour. For passers-by we must have seemed like a big grip of tree huggers or people with questionable mental capacity because the most common position was with ones forehead pasted to a tree or two foreheads connected to each other. However, regardless of how we looked, it was a great time and our team won!!
The final thing, Don thinks that my testimony would be good for the kids here being that I'm American and serious about my faith. Thus he proposed that me and the Indian seminarian spend one evening talking about ourselves and taking questions. Surprisingly, I'm really excited about this and hope it is realized. If there is any chance that my story and witness can have an effect on those here, who am I to say no to this? So now I'm gonna go to scribble some things down in anticipation of that evening whenever it'll be.  (17:39 in the tent)

For the activity ("incontro") today, we played a game to get to know each other better. First, ten questions were asked and everyone wrote their answers on a piece of paper. After this, the papers were picked up and redistributed to others in the tent. The goal then was for each person to read the paper they had aloud and try to guess (as a group) who the paper belonged to. This was a bit difficult of course because it was in Italian, but it was beautiful to witness the way that the kids already knew each other and the desire they had to listen attentively and learn something new. It was also the first time I ever heard my language considered beautiful. The paper that I read included the words: "Amsterdam" "Miami beach" and "Hunger Games". You should have seen the faces when I said them and heard the gasps and requests for repetition. One boy asked me to repeat "Amsterdam" (which isn't even a real English word) and as I left I heard "troppo bello" (so beautiful).
Meet Diego.
He wants to go to Amsterdam someday.
That evening we also played a scavenger hunt game. Since there are two foreigners here (Me and Fanzwa, the Indian seminarian), we and Don Stefano were a group for the hunters to encounter. At our station the group had to repeat and translate a phrase that I said in English and then identify where it came from. It was a phrase from the morning reflection. Then to receive the next clue, the group had to accurately pronounce the phrase in Malayalam - the language that Fanzwa speaks in India. It was really funny how frustrated but patient he was with each group who first called his language Indian (there is no "Indian" language) and then butchered the pronunciation. During this time, Don, Fanzwa, and I had a lot of fun talking and laughing uncontrollably about many random things. One of them was the length spent eating. For Italians this is a minimum hour and usually more. At the camp I believe each meal ranged from 1.5 hours to 2 hours. I admitted that my family and I can easily be finished eating in 30 minutes, but Fanzwa had Don thinking he was kidding when he revealed that Indians spend 15 minutes at table.
I wish everyone could have the experience I have had in my life of knowing many young men discerning or newly ordained into the priesthood. It is amazing how there are so many stereotypes and prejudices placed on this men who are expected to all be the same - reserved, strict, prayerful, and intelligent. Yes, this is true for some but each is his own beautifully unique individual, and I have been fortunate to meet many who are so full of life and love for the Lord and the people they minister to. For example, Don Stefano is not noticeably a priest (in the negative sense) unless he is celebrating the sacraments at the camp. He wears regular clothes, participates in the hikes and activities, and has found favor with all of the kids here. It is obvious that he was held in high esteem and well respected by everyone. His life is one of difficulty because of the way he pours himself out for others but he is not without joy. If anything, he is the one at this camp that possesses the most joy.
Tonight we also had a moment of exchanging peace. In a large circle, each person took the time to hug the other as a sign of peace. This was a bit awkward for me since I don't know the people as well but it was a beautiful and sweet moment. To see the embraces that were had between obviously intimate friends and also those who were more distant was a wonderful witness of the hope we should have for peace in the world. At the time our world is in now with the state of the wars in the Middle East and Christian persecution globally, it is important to be to cultivate a community of peace. Tonight was an activity to do just that.
And now, I am in the midst of my first night of Italian girl talk in the tent! But I'll let you in on a secret, girl talk is universal; it is the same things discussed at American sleepovers but done so in Italian. And you know what? I like these girls :)
Bea, Giulia L, Giulia R, Giulia D, Elena, Roberta,
Me, Martina, Laura, Claudia, Chiara

Friday 25 July

Another hike today and I'm exhausted. I think I pulled something in my leg but it sure is great being in the mountains! We went to a small lake where we had lunch and relaxed with games and naps before heading back. I talked with a couple of the girls about the States and am still amazed at the fascination people here have with me being American. Speaking with one of the girls more in depth, Giulia Disconzi (Disco), I learned that since there is this idea of America and the English language in Italia, the fact that an American girl would want to learn to speak italian and come here is a big deal and that for everyone it's pretty awesome! She said that everyone was overwhelmed with both excitement and shyness at the knowledge of an American in little ole Induno Olona. So that's cool! I can tell Giulia is a girl of great depth and I look forward to speaking more with her this week. She is also very good with English even though she doesn't think so herself. [Also, as a side note, the Italians that I've met here in Induno really like to use the last name for creating a nickname. For example, in the camp we have a Disco, Fuma, Crep, Poppo...etc]
Also, during the break of the hike, I discovered a way to make friends or at least impress people here at the camp: shuffle cards. You should see the eyes of those who see me do it. At first I thought it was a joke because it seemed exaggerated but almost all want to learn and enjoy watching me do it.
Laura, Michele, Me, Claudi, and Giulia R.
On the way back down the mountain, I spoke with another Giulia about the high school system in Italy. This is something I find very very interesting. It is also something that I will continue to ask about this week in my fascination. With this Giulia, who attends a Geometry High School, we talked more about the way that sports work. Sports are not in the schools like they are in the States. Instead, usually school ends around 1 pm and then there are sport teams put on by the community that the students can participate in. The system seems more like the club teams we have in the States. The teams play, more or less, all year long and the athletes try out for different teams at different levels in the nearby towns. As in the States, the higher levels are present in the bigger towns. The Giulia I was talking to plays volleyball in Varese which is the province that Induno is located in and therefore the biggest town in the area.
Tonight we are gonna enjoy a tranquil evening because everyone is exhausted. The hike was promised to be short but it lasted for quite some time. At a certain point, I remember "Crep" (Italian seminarian Matteo Crepaldi) repeating that we were almost there several times before it actually rang true. However, the lake we arrived at for lunch was beautiful. I attempted a crossword puzzle with Giulia Disconzi e Michele Ponti before giving up and taking a nap. After, I pulled out my deck of cards for a game of Solitaire (which I actually won) and then discovered the fascination Italians have with the ability to shuffle cards. The way down wasn't as long but still seemed to take a while. The hike was first through a damp forest which I preferred over walking in the sun. The woods had an air of fantasy and enchantment as we climbed over fallen trees and tiptoed from rock to rock over running streams. Therefore, tonight should include mass, supper, and a relaxed game inside the dinning tent. We'll see! (17:18 in the tent - like always)

Saturday 26 July

Giulia L. (GiDi)
The Tortosa's came today to bring Bea, and seeing them was like seeing my family! When I first saw Maurizio smiling at me in the dinning tent my heart swelled with love and happiness. In Italy, the Tortosas have become my little piece of home. I'm so blessed to have had them put into my life.
All is continuing to go well here. I really am falling in love with the italian youth. They are so engaging and full of life. Jumping at all opportunities for adventure and trying new things. The atmosphere is very comfortable and it's obvious that most everyone is totally themselves and abandoned to the present moment. We've done so many activities to build community and learn more about each other. The generosity and love with which each person speaks of and interacts with the others is so beautiful. Of course things aren't perfect but the setting here and this campeggio is really a glimpse of how life is supposed to be I think. People living together in harmony, each bringing his or her gifts and talents. People praying, eating, playing together. And what a beautiful setting for it too: the Italian Alps!

Claudia
I've had a few encounters recently that have made me really happy! They are ones in which I've been assured that my thick and obvious American accent when speaking italian is actually adorable (but not as adorable as when I speak English). Seriously the people practically swoon when I do! But I was under the impression that my accent was annoying and an insult to the language at first. Of course I still want to improve my pronunciation, but I'm feeling more secure now that I know it's at least not an instant turn off for people when I do talk in italian! And speaking of the language, things are getting better and even though I'm still struggling to speak (and read aloud) without mistakes or a lack of smoothness, my understanding and vocabulary are increasing immensely as I hear the same expressions over and over and get a feel for how to use them. It's gonna be a shame to return to the States and be cut off from the necessity of speaking this language all day every day. I only hope I can keep in touch with people from here and the few Italians I know in Texas to keep it up! I don't even want to think of leaving though. Of course I miss home and can't wait to see my family but the experience I'm having here is so incredible. I am certain that it will remain a summer I look back on throughout my life and marvel at the fact that it actually happened. The way I've been embraced by the people here is amazing!
Now we are in the midst of a day-long game of Hunger Games. Before you freak out, it's obviously an edited version and actually very beautiful! First of all, I introduced the game in English which made everyone smile because they love listening to me talk. Especially with the phrase "may the odds be forever in your favor". Then there was a section of reflection to choose their mentor and at least three characteristics about themselves. Next, they had to dress in things and bring things that expressed themselves and finally they had to share a talent. All of this was beautiful because it was so diverse and truly represented the idea that we all come together in the community as Church with our talents, faults, strange abilities, and willingness to share ourselves. The atmosphere is so open here and everyone was comfortable with their sharing and all was received warmly with attention and applause. Tonight the game will finish after supper with a series of games that the participants are permitted to play according to the points they received this afternoon. Some of the games are for single participants and others require the formation of groups and collaborative effort. I'm excited to see how it shapes up and maybe bring the game to the States! (18:25 in the tent)

Sunday 27 July

Matteo Crepaldi, Antonio (Toto'), Fanzwa,
Cristiano (Fuma), Giuilo M.
Today was one of my favorite days in the camp. I didn't go on the hike because of my leg. At the camp, we were put to work first cleaning the bathrooms and campground. And after attending mass in the town in the Roman Rite (which I found difficult because I'm becoming accustomed to that of St. Ambrose), I entered the kitchen where I stayed for most of the day. We prepared the finger foods for The Happy Hour dinner. I helped make little brioches and other delectable treats. When everyone returned, we had the snack and time for reflection. Then time for the happy hour came and we took pictures (finally I have some to show you of my new friends!). I also had great conversations with several of the youth here in both English and italian. We talked about the two cultures and aspects of the language that are difficult for me. It is interesting that a lot of them, who haven't met an American, don't realize how different the accents are between our English and those who are from a different English speaking country such as Great Britain. It's also interesting that a person forms the accent of the English they learn. For example, Michele spent some time studying English in Ireland, therefore he has an Irish accent when he speaks English. He is also very good with his English and if the first words he had said to me were English, I might have mistaken him for Irish. Again, the high school system here in Italia amazes me every time and I always have questions for the students. It also is so strange but beautiful that one person can talk to me in English and the other in Italian but I understand both and almost don't notice that they are different languages! Another topic we covered on the differences between English and Italian was animal sounds. And let me tell you, some are vastly different. Finally, we ended the day with an outdoor game that afforded me time to talk more with a few of the girls here (specifically Martina, Laura, and Chiara) and I cherished this time very much. Now I'm wrapped up in my sleeping bag because it's cold and I'm tired! Tomorrow is the last hike which is supposed to be easy (we hope) and beautiful (it better be). So I better hit the sack! Night night! (00:18 in my sleeping bag).
The cooks who kept us well fed and the brioches we made for Happy Hour.

Monday 28 July  (L'ultima Gita)

Me before "Gran Paradiso". How appropriate a name.
Today we took a bus up a mountain to the start of our leisurely last hike. It was so beautiful there - like a fairytale world that only Tolkien or Disney could dream up - but this is reality and it's Creator is far greater than the most imaginative minds.
During the short hike, I talked with Don Stefano about his personal story and journey to become a priest. (Might I remind you he is 25 and is just nearly in his second year as a priest.) It was a beautiful tale of simplicity and the pursuit of happiness that he discovered, for him, was found in the priesthood.
Arriving back at the refuge around 1:30, we discovered the next bus didn't return until 5:00. Therefore, we had mass in a beautiful outdoor location with an altar and mosaic of Our Lady.
After mass, with 3 hours to spare, Giulio, Elena, Bea, and I started on the "toti". These are phrases for each person that recount something that happened throughout the camp. This is in fact very difficult especially when you just met the people and are new to the language, but fun all the same. I love passing time with these guys. We spent most of it huddled in Don Stefano's car while the wind howled and rain poured outside.
When 5:00 finally rolled around, the rain had stopped thank goodness, and we loaded up to head out. I had a conversation with Luca, Marco, Giammi, Michele, and Simone half in English and half in italian. They love hearing me speak in English, especially quotes or names from Harry Potter or other types of American entertainment. We also talked about stereotypes and accents in the US. Unfortunately I'm not good with accents so I couldnt accurately explain how different East Texas is from South Central much less from New York.
Returning to the camp we showered up and passed time in the tent until prayer and small group time. My small group is so great and so many people contribute and have such profound things to say. My group consisted of Luca L., Luca, Glaudia, Davide, Laura, Michele, Elena, Pietro and Edoardo (twins), and Stefano - I partly write that for my own memory later. We talked about love and ways to express it as well as what it means to live the way that Christ lived. The things that some of these high school age Italians had to say really surprised me. With this I was very content! One of them, Davide, even talked about the five love languages! How beautiful! I shared with them my preference of the two different ways of saying "I love you" in italian. One is "ti voglio bene" which literally means "I want your good". Through John Paul II's Theology of the Body, I learned that love is gift of self and willing the good of the other regardless of the cost to oneself and therefore this way of saying "I love you" has such a deeper meaning. "I want your good" - how beautiful! This however surprised the Italians because for them they don't think of it this way in the sense that italian is not my first language so I literally translated it when learning it. But for them, it just is and they don't think of it as much as I do. But in any case, these kids are so "bravi" to use the perfect italian word.
Me, Elena, and Bea on the last hike
Supper was lasagna (yum!) and my squadra (gialli - "sunny guys") did the dishes together since it was our turn. Dishes for around 50 people (especially with the classic 2 course Italian meals) is not a simple or easy matter. It's actually quite fatiguing and a bit on the annoying side but I love my team and we are quite efficient if I might say so myself!
Then after supper we played a game with the theme of the World Cup. Each team had a turn and picked a country whose flag was on the poster. The game leaders (Elena and Giulio) then looked to see what that country did in the game. It was either a bonus, minus, game, or nothing. Most of the turns were games and these games gave each team a chance to gain points. The games were all very creative. One involved recognizing animal noises made by a team member, another involved recognizing a song whistled by a team member, and one even involved writing the historical event in a list of dates in 5 minutes. At the end of the game the points were added up and (dun dun dun dunnnn) Gialli won!!
This was followed by "la veglia" which I discovered is basically a candle light prayer vigil. This ended near 12:30 and now I'm finally in bed listening and struggling to follow the girl talk happening in my tent right now. Partly because I'm typing and thinking in english  at the same time but also because it's hard to follow this kind of talk in italian anyways. But I want to try so I'm gonna go now! (01:24 in the tent)

Tuesday 29 July (Sadly, the last full day)

We had a tender moment at mass today during the sign of peace when we again all exchanged hugs. Many people had tears in their eyes as they recognized that our time together was quickly coming to an end.
Today we also presented the "Toti" (which I mentioned earlier as the phrases recounting the week's events) as if they were awards. "Toti 2014 A-zi-zi: the phrase here". After it is read aloud the kids have to guess who it goes to. It was another activity that showed just how much a community really was formed throughout our time together. Each person had at least 2 toti and therefore the night was split up also in skits or games put on by the different teams. I'm very happy with the toti that I received. I helped make them but did not see mine and for me it was a surprise. I had 3 toti. The first was "No Coffee, Si Caffe" because throughout the week I commented on the fact that I don't drink American coffee but I drink Italian coffee ("caffe"). My exact words in Italian were "Non bevo coffee. Bevo caffe." My second toto was "Literally". It recalled an event of me truly being myself with my little one word side comments. One evening before Night Prayer with the Educators and Don, Giulio responded to Elena's "Grazie" normally after passing her a book with "prego". In Italian, "prego" means both "I pray" and "you're welcome." Therefore, since we were about to pray, I said "literally" after this comment by Giulio. The funniest part, was that everyone was perplexed because it was really late, we were all tired and no one understood what I had said or why I was laughing. What was even worse was that I couldn't figure out how to explain it either until we all had the realization that a cognate existed: letteralmente. We are still in a dispute about which of these words (literally or letteralmente) are easier to pronounce. And my final toto is my favorite: "Nulla mi ferma...neanche la lingua." (Nothing Stops Me...Not Even the Language). This represented my determination to continue throwing myself into conversations and always trying to speak the language even when I didn't know how or was having a very difficult time. I was very content with this toto because when it was presented to me, everyone seemed to be in agreement on it and since I usually feel that I don't try enough to participate, I was very well pleased. It was a tender moment for me when Giulio explained it as he presented it to me.
I also passed a lot of time with Michele and Giulia (Disco) discussing American and Italian things in both languages this afternoon. I really enjoyed this time as it was a real sharing between friends. I talked about how I prefer Induno over Rome and their mouths were left open in amazement but for me it is a simple choice. Why? Because here (Induno and campeggio) it is authentically Italian. There aren't any tourists. There are merely people living their everyday lives and to have the privilege of entering into that routine and getting to experience it first hand for me is a dream. I am also biased now because I love the people in this town so much.
Marco, Luca L., and Simone depicting
a soldier, Jesus, and the Blessed Mother
Tonight, after the toti, I got to talk to Luca about my future a bit and what it is that I want to do with my life. It was nice to have someone genuinely interested and giving me an attentive ear even when I was struggling with the language. After all, it was very late since the last day is always a late one. Our curfew was 2 am and until that time, those who wanted to, stayed in the dining tent and played games. However, I was a bit out of it in my tiredness so I "played" with Michele in a card/board game while doodling on a piece of paper and enjoying small talk.
When 2 am rolled around, despite my exhaustion, I wanted to remain in the tent and spend more time with these new found friends. I realized that I'm really going to miss everyone here and I don't want to cry but I can't deny the feelings I have now. It's like leaving Camerino all over again but maybe even worse. The kids here; they are so great and I have such a strong desire to speak with them more, learn more about and from them as well as help them in their journey to find the purpose for which they were placed in this world and how to follow God's will. I desire to continue relationships and know what is going on with their lives in the future. Leaving will be difficult but I must stay strong and remember to be thankful for the time spent here and understand that I have purpose elsewhere now. (2:32 in bed)

Wednesday 30 July (Departure Day)

Wrapping up the campeggio has me in a sad state. I had to say goodbye to some new friends (Giulio, Elena, and Don Stefano). They are staying here for a bit longer.
This morning I discovered my protector this week was Giulia (Disco) who I talked with a lot and who is very talented with music. At the beginning of the camp we each drew a name out of a hat of a person to "protect" throughout the week with prayers, little gifts/letters, and small talk. The protectors were all kept a secret until the last day. I protected a lovely girl named Roberta.
There was a moment when I felt very special this morning because Michele and Laura wanted to sit by me in the dining tent. It's always good to be wanted and to have your presence desired/appreciated. I'm definitely going to miss these people and hope to keep up with them at least some through Facebook and other technological means. It's only been a week but it's hard to imagine my life without them already.
Me, Michele, and Giulia L (braiding my hair)
I was asked this morning what I miss most from home and I didn't answer this, but I think it's the security of seeing my friends indefinitely. While I'm here, I always have a date (10 Aug for example) in my head that marks when I leave Italy and all of my new found friends. And this is something I don't want to do but can't do anything about. Fortunately, I always have the Lord, the One who binds us all together and the One who makes it possible for us to all be together again for eternity. This is my hope and consolation amidst my dread of the goodbyes. It's also hard because I see the others be sad as well and can't help but think that at least they live in the same town and will see each other again soon. How much I'd love to stay and follow the lives of these youth here. How interested I am in their lives, their likes and dislikes, their opinions, their dreams and heart's desires, and how the Lord is working in their lives. I've never been so interested in others who I've just met in a way that is more than just curiosity but genuine affection. What a beautiful but difficult thing to feel being that I have to leave them now. But I can trust that they will always be with me in my heart and I will continue to pray for them and for their futures who are shining bright in my eyes.
Before leaving the camp, our final act was a "baptism" for those who made their first campeggio and so I had water poured over the back of my head. How beautiful to participate in this tradition of the campeggio even though it was very cold! (14:54 on the bus)

Now, as I sit before my computer trying to convince myself to finish and publish this post, my heart is heavy with feelings I am not certain how to express. On one hand, I am still reeling at the fact that this summer has actually happened for me (and in reality is not yet over). On the other hand, my heart is torn at the thought of leaving this place, culture, Catholic Church Rite (Ambrosian), language (in its daily use), but most especially these people. I was asked today what my favorite part of Italy has been and without hesitation the people is hands down the right answer. I can't express how blessed I feel to have been put in the places I have been to be able to make the relationships that I have made and learn from and grow in the presence of those that I have been placed in the midst of. And now, with the end close enough for me to see it, I think my heart is confused. In one sense it wants to jump around and dance for joy because it is bursting at the seams with love and gratitude. But it is also on the brink of crumbling in the sorrow of leaving a place that feels, smells, looks like home (if it quacks, walks, and talks like a duck then it is one right?). And even as I remind myself of what I discovered when leaving Camerino - that it's only hard because of how amazing it was - I still don't know how to free my heart of this sadness. How do I tell my heart that it has to leave now, after it has poured itself out in acts of courageous participation in new things and surrendering to the treacherous act of allowing others in? How do I rid myself of the burning feeling in the pit of my chest?...and at the same time the other question I can't deny is: do I really want to and why? After all, there is a beauty in a heart struggling under the weight of so much love. (22:00 at Marina's house)

As an ending note especially to those of my new Italian friends who decided to tackle the feat of reading this in English, I need to say that it is impossible to comment on each of you and your beautiful uniqueness. But, you should know that each of you made an impact on my life and I want you to know that you are all beautifully and wonderfully made. This campeggio will always be one I look back on in pure joy at the community that was built in this past week and at the relationships that I made if even just for these days. You have my love and prayers always. Never hesitate to come to me via Skype, Facebook, or whatsapp for anything that I may be able to do for you. I would love to share in your future in some form or fashion. Finally, I hope that you find the answer to that one question of vocation burning deep in your heart, and I hope you find it in the Lord (where it no doubt lies) who holds all of us in existence by His undying love.
A tutti dal campeggio: e' impossibile per me parlare di ogni persona ma dovreste sapere che ciascuno di voi e' speciale per me. Non dimentichero' mai questa settimana di campeggio. Prego per voi sempre e vi voglio tanto bene. Per favore chiedete (via Skype, Facebook, Whatsapp) quando posso fare qualcosa per te. Non saro' a Induno, ma tutti di voi sarete per sempre nel mio cuore. Non fermate cercando per la risposta alla domanda nei vostri cuori, e spero che voi trovate la risposta nel Signore chi ci ama sempre. Ciao per ora!
And finally, a song to take us back to camp which is ironically American...