Living with the Lord

I know it has been awhile since I have blogged so I am not going to try to act like everything will be included in this post but I will include what I consider most important and what I think you find most interesting or...entertaining. haha!

"In your heart, you know it is not the same to live without Him." - Papa Francesco

For me, the theme of this summer, aside from simplicity, has been to live each day with the Lord. I am constantly reminded of the abundance of His love. It is overwhelming even sometimes. I've had so many wonderful opportunities and met so many genuinely good people during my time here in Italy and with each passing difficulty, triumph, or failure, I've been captivated by the sense I have of His presence with me. In a country that is not my own surrounded mostly by people I didn't meet until I arrived here, I don't feel alone. Sure I have my moments occasionally but overall, I am struck by the reality of His being with me. And with each passing day my desire to dance and celebrate the wonders that this God works for me each day in the little things perhaps more so than in the big grows and grows and GROWS. I recently rediscovered a song that expresses this perfectly. It is call "Chasing You" by Jenn Johnson and I'd like to share it with you now.

The upbeat tempo gives a sense of the joyful way I sometimes want to recklessly abandon myself to a goofy, uncoordinated dance when confronted with the generosity of the Lord. And the lyrics...they literally speak for themselves. I do feel that I'm chasing the Lord in many ways. The more He showers me with His Goodness the more I want of it. "The more of You I see, the more it leaves me wanting. You're everything." A life with the Lord is a thrill, a crazy adventure, and each day, by the grace of God, I am learning to surrender more and more of myself to the love story that was always meant to be. I don't even know what else to say. I'm smiling so much right now that I can barely see out of my squinted eyes to type. God, You're everything....and You love me. Wow.

Event Recap

I don't know how much I stressed it in the last blog but the family I live with, the Tortosa's, are fantastic. Please pray for them - their presence blesses so many lives here and has definitely blessed mine. But anyways, with Marina and Bea especially, I have spent much time touring the neighboring towns or helping with various church activities.

Don Franco put this in the church bulletin my first week in town.

Marina is very enthusiastic about showing me her town and the beautiful sites it has to offer and Bea is always inviting me to hang out with her and her friends when something is planned like a BBQ (yes, Italians do it too), a movie, or an afternoon of shopping (haha...not my favorite activity but...). I also have experienced an Italian wedding and an Italian graduation and let me tell you, the graduations here are intense. The student has to present their thesis not only in front of a panel of professors but with all of their family and complete strangers (like me) present in the room. And then, after the professors have deliberated, everyone returns to the room to here each students' grade read aloud. I felt nervous and wasn't even a part of the ceremony. The wedding wasn't much different than those held back home aside from a few different traditions.

"Risotto le Stelle"

We love Nutella!

This quaint little town continues to impress me with the involvement of its inhabitants (or maybe its just the involvement of the family I'm living with). "Risotto le Stelle" is a Friday night dinner held throughout the summer in the commune of Induno to raise money to benefit the town. Thus, townspeople come together, buy food, socialize, and all while contributing to things that will surely later on come back to them in some form or fashion. What a smart idea! And there are wonderful cooks who come out and help make it all happen as well as a live band. The theme the night we went was 70's rock and roll. Clearly it was all American songs but I'm sad to say that I didn't recognize some of them because the English pronunciation was so terrible. But who am I to talk? I see the face that some people give me when I use the right word but they don't recognize it. Anyways, it was a beautiful night filled with many introductions since I can't go anywhere with Marina and not run into someone she knows. And since her family is so big, I got to meet many of them as well including her cousin who is the town mayor! I'm happy to report that the risotto and prosciutto gnocco fritto were very good and the Nutella Fritta after it was also a tongue pleaser.

Sacro Monte

The first picture Marina took of me and Bea with my phone turned into
21 pictures because she did not know how to work my iphone

In Varese, the Province that Induno Olona is in, there is a mountain called "Sacro Monte" or the Holy Mountain in English. This mountain is covered with chapels containing the scene of each of the Joyful, Sorrowful, and Glorious mysteries of the Rosary. At the top of the mountain, after about 2 kilometers, one finds themselves at a monastery where the final Glorious mystery - the Coronation of Mary as the Queen of Heaven and Earth - is presented as the altar piece of the church there. There's a popular devotion here to pray the rosary as one walks up the mountain and then attend mass at the monastery. We, instead, simply enjoyed a nice, brisk (and difficult) walk up the mountain enjoying and discussing each beautiful mystery. The chapels contain lifesize wooden or stone figures depicting each event with much emotion and realism. The characters' faces seem to come to life with emotion and expression. This was a trip I greatly enjoyed.


A look at a couple of the centuries old chapels and the view from the top.

 

The Hermitage of St. Catherine

Another trip we took landed us at the hermitage of St. Catherine which is a monastery carved out of the side of a mountain. This time we had to travel down to get to the site which is built right on the side of the largest lake in Varese: Lake Maggiore. The place was incredible and still houses cloistered monks who we heard chanting the Liturgy of the Hours. A neat story of the Hermitage is that one of the initial chapels was in danger of being crushed in a rock slide in the early 1800s. However, the rocks were stopped just before the chapel and held in place for about a century before finally falling and not causing any unrepairable damage.

Bea, Me, Maurizio (Bea's dad) at St. Catherine's Hermitage

Milano

On Wednesday, July 16, Bea invited me to go to the graduation of some of her classmates. Bea goes to a university in Milan so we headed out on a train Wednesday morning to attend mass at the Duomo and tour the castle before heading to the graduations which were scheduled for the afternoon. The places we saw were beautiful and it was great to see Bea's daily route but best of all was that I got to reunite with friends from other places. Sarai, a good friend from Camerino, is now living in Milan. Seeing her brought back many good memories from my first month in Italy and filled me with a warm feeling of familiarity. Also, an Italian couple that had lived and studied in College Station recently moved back to Milan and I was able to see them as well. This gave me even more of a feeling of home and was exciting because I was able to speak with them in their language instead of mine.

Bea and me; Sarai and me; Andrea, me and, Lucia

After saying goodbye, Bea and I headed off to the graduation that turned out to be much different than those found in the states. First of all, the people graduating are not done. They still have to present their thesis in front of a panel of professors who can interrupt with a question at any moment. And to add to the terror, all of those in attendance - family, friends, complete strangers (like me) - are in the room listening too. And then, after the professors take time to deliberate, everyone returns to the hall to hear the students' grades read aloud as they (finally) receive their diplomas. Now, I must admit that there is a beauty and a practicality that a student presents the subject they have been researching and writing about. The thesis is always chosen by the student so it is clearly something they are interested in and want to share. But with that said, it is quite intense and I must admit that I felt nervous just being in the room.

Another Mountain...

In an attempt to see all that I can, we take advantage of every sunny day here. So one day Marina, Bea, and I set out to the astronomical observatory to see the beautiful views from such a high altitude. We were only aloud to drive so high and ended up walking quite a bit that day but it was beautifully worth it. It is always nice to be up in the mountains with the fresh air marveling at the handiwork of the Creator. The area we were in was more or less wooded so I was very happy because that is one of my favorite landscapes.

Campi dei Fiori

Svizzera

I think I've mentioned this before but we are very close to Switzerland here so to go is not very difficult. With that said, I haven't actually crossed the border yet, but I've seen it and been very close. Marina and I went on our own one morning after mass. She is such a blessing here. She takes such good care of me as if I were one of her own. I will definitely miss her when I leave.

Davide, Francesca, GianLuca, and Lapo Cavallin

Thursday night Bea and I had supper at her uncle and aunts house. It was such a fun night filled with laughter and 2 cute boys: GianLuca and Lapo (the sons/cousins). We ate risotto and looked through their wedding album. The whole night happened in italian but amazing enough it wasn't that difficult. I understood almost everything now. It's still difficult to speak correctly and even when I have a "perfect" sentence in my head it comes out a bit warped and tongue-twisted. However, when I think less (almost not at all) I - believe it or not - actually speak better. Plus I felt very comfortable in this environment that was without judgement or expectation. I hope to see this family again before I leave. The father, Davide, really wants to meet my family which I would love but neither speak the other's language. We'll see...

Varese

Varese is the Province of the towns in this area meaning it is similar to a county seat. It is neighbors with Induno Olona, where I stay, so it is not too far away. Marina, Bea, and I went there one afternoon to check out the city center and the mall. It reminded me a bit of us Hallettsville folks heading off to Victoria to go shopping. The trip isn't quite as long but the mall gives the same feeling of disappointing but satisfactory. While we were there, Bea and I bought movie tickets because she heard me say that it was one of my favorite past times and that I really wanted to go to the movies in Italy. We watched Maleficent which I actually really liked. The cinematography was awesome and I felt transported into another world. Surprisingly, I understood it quite well and it wasn't as difficult as I had imagined. Unfortunately however I read a review before watching the movie that gave me a critical eye during it. The problem wasn't the movie itself but the message and the questions of the purpose of its release. For those who don't know, (Spoiler Alert) Maleficent is the prequel to Sleeping Beauty and recounts the story behind the villain who bears the same name as the film. The movie takes you through her life and gives reason behind why she becomes the villain of the story. The problem with this is that the movie does more than recount but seemingly justifies evil which brings up a rather interesting topic. In today's world is good and evil black and white like it used it be (when Disney first released Sleeping Beauty) or, as this movie suggests, is even the existence of evil becoming relative? I don't know the answer or the complete dialogue to this but I'd be interested to delve further into it. Maleficent even goes as far as to change the ending of Sleeping Beauty which for me was a bit heart wrenching and, after reading this article, disturbing. To read the article for yourself, click here.
After the movie, we met up with Alessia to walk the city center and enjoy the shops that stay open extra long on Fridays. I was impressed at the selection and price ranges we found because it was very cute stuff for decently low prices. Unfortunately Bea didn't find the skirt she was looking for but we did find some awesome gelato that we devoured before heading home. I might not be buying much material items but I will definitely be bringing home a few (only...I hope) extra pounds home with me from all of the gelato and sweets I've been eating with Bea. That girl has a sweet tooth if I ever saw one and she sure can make a delicious torta (general word for cake). So blessed to have her! I'm experiencing sisterhood in a sense...and I love it!

Yogurt Cold Cake

Lake Maggiore

Stefano, Mattia, Elisa, Giorgia, Dani, and me

Saturday I went to the Lake with some locals in a catholic co-fraternity. It was a great day of sun (a bit too much for me - ouch), water, guitars, cards, and blaring music with the windows down. On the ride home I was caught up by the beauty of life. Here we were cursing the winding roads with mountains on one side of us and a huge lake (called lake major) on the other. The sun was setting over the water and the wind was gently soothing my sun worn face. The music varied from italian Christian music to movie soundtracks like Mary Poppins and Grease. There was a moment that stopped me in my tracks when I couldn't help but marvel at how loved I was. Here I was sitting with three other girls who were singing at the top of their lungs and laughing with pure joy. And such little was necessary for that result: each other's presence, a little humility, and a lot of love for the Lord. I include this last ingredient because it was the common thread that brought us all together. The others wouldn't have none each other if it weren't for the fraternity that they joined in a desire to journey further with The Lord and I met them all after mass and through our mutual friendship with consecrated women (the Apostles). So, as the sun set over the water, I thought of all of these things and in a moment that I normally would have imagined my life was a movie, I chose to recognize its reality and be overwhelmed by the absolute beauty in that.
And that night at home, Marina and I had a kind of mother daughter moment. With supper finished, we were talking when all of a sudden I felt that something small was poking my foot. Sure enough there was a small piece of glass in the curvature between my toe and foot sole. In the italian that I could muster during my new found pain, I managed to get my point across and Marina immediately jumped into action. She beckoned me to the bathroom where I sat down and grimaced as she fished out the seemingly microscopic cause of my seemingly world-ending pain! And in the split of a second it was all over having not hurt as bad as my mind imagined (which always seems to be the case doesn't it?).

Sundays with the Tortosa's

 Every Sunday the paternal grandparents come over for lunch. Grandma cooks delicious food and They bring it over to the house. I had a conversation with Grandpa today. We talked about baseball and how he likes watching American baseball because he can see the passion in the players. He went on to explain how he had played soccer when young and was pretty good but didn't have the intensity and competitiveness of other players. He said he was too nice and therefore if he had wanted to try he wouldn't have made it in the sport in the long run. He then shared that his wife (Grandma) is the more intense type who'll share her opinions and feelings rather then shrug them off. This got us talking about how women notice everything and men almost nothing. He used the example of his wife noticing if his shirt was dirty or if they were missing something when leaving the house. He told me that when a woman gets married she becomes the director. It was really sweet the whole time though because when he wasn't looking me straight in the eye, he was looking lovingly at his wife. It was a beautiful view of marriage. The love that Grandpa had for the reality of the woman he married with all of her intensity and surely sometimes annoying observation skills. (Yes, this conversation happened all in italian.) I will miss seeing that cute couple!
Went to the real Switzerland today! It's only about 15 minutes away (if even) and seems the same because it's italian Switzerland with writing in italian and similar looking buildings but I noticed the difference when we got out of the car and walked downtown. I feel odd saying this but I don't know how else to explain how I felt: Switzerland is strange. The entertainment on the streets and the ridiculous pricing of things at the mall. But it was cool to go even though they didn't even stop us to check my passport.
Then Bea and I watched a movie after supper called, in Italian, Nata per Vincere (Born to Win) which is the movie Raise Your Voice (Hilary Duff) in italian. The singing remained in English however. It was great though because it was not a difficult transition for me from English singing to italian dialogue. Sometimes I didn't even notice it until I got excited at the fact that I didn't notice it! Small victories each day!
I've also noticed that I've been staying up later than is normal for me back in the States but I think I finally know why. When I get tired and head to bed (surely because I spent all day concentrating on speaking and comprehending a different language), I allow myself to listen to a bit of music or YouTube in English. It seems that I get a second when during my first song in English because before I know it an hour or two go by and I'm awake at 1 in the morning. Like tonight. Haha! Oh the reality of life in a foreign country!

Thank you Lord for showering me with Your generosity! Every day I fall more in love and disbelief at the fact that I can be loved this much. (00:57 in my bed - Induno).

Campeggio

Tomorrow I head off to the Alps for 8 days in nature with over 50 kids ranging from the ages of 15-17, adult cooks, a handful of others my age, and a priest. It's going to be epic! All I know for sure is that we have a hike (good weather pending) every other day and mass every day (Whoop!). The camping ground is set up with tents for sleeping and a common area for games and such. Bea won't be with me for the first few days as she has some business to attend to here in Induno. So until she arrives on Saturday, I will be without my "sister-like" friend. As sad as that is, I have met some great people through her that will be there and it will be good for me to stretch my wings a bit and speak for myself more (literally). However, I am already excited for her arrival! With that sad, I must head off to bed because the camping trip starts off early tomorrow morning. But don't worry about me. Thanks to Bea's thorough list-making and particular tastes, I have just about everything that you could think of and more that I could possibly need these next 8 days. Let's just put it this way: the suitcase and hiking pack I am taking with me for this week in the relatively nearby mountains is at least if not over double the amount I brought in total to Italy for my over 2 month long trip across the ocean. Thank goodness this family has a lot of extras and likes sharing! Mountains here I come! Lord show me Your majesty! (23:04 my room - Induno).

La vita e' bella!



Induno

Me and Sr. Susan, the first of the Apostles

Me, Janelle, Sr. Tiziana, and Briana

Today I find myself under the shade of a fruit tree in the quaint little Italian town of Induno Olona. I am living with a family who I met through the Apostles of the Interior Life. Leaving Cortina and the Apostles was really difficult because I passed some beautiful days with those wonderful consecrated women. I met and spoke with a couple of Sisters who don't speak English. Even though there was a definite barrier, it was beautiful to be able to communicate (even on an elementary level) with them in their own language. The final night, we celebrated with a mini talent show and had fun with guitars, harmonies, and funny rhymes about each other (in Italian).

On Monday, I headed off on another day of travel with Sr. Elena, Briana, and Janelle. First we attended mass at the Basilica of St. Anthony of Padua in Padua. We were nearly late to mass due to the troubles of finding parking in Italy. You'd think smaller cars would signify more parking space, but after my short stay here, I'd venture to say the cars are small because there is no parking space. Long story short, we had to run a good quarter of a mile to make it to the church as the first bells began to chime. After this, we headed to the home town of St. Gianna Molla to pray for all of the pregnant women we know before her grave. (For her incredible story, click here.)

We then dropped Briana and Janelle off at a host family where they would stay the night before their day of travel back to the states. Saying goodbye was a bit tough but I know that I will see them again in the States so it wasn't as difficult as the others. After this, Sr. Elena and I hit the road for the last leg of our trip which landed us in the place I am now.

If I thought I was talking a lot of Italian before, last month has nothing on these past couple of days. I've only been here around 48 hours and it feels like 2 weeks. It's wonderful and terrifying all at the same time. I understand better than I speak which is difficult for me. I mean it's beautiful and necessary to understand but those of you who know me well know that I usually have quite a bit to say also and in Italian it's more difficult to share these thoughts of mine. Unfortunately, thoughts still first come to me in English but I'm slowly beginning to talk only in Italian. Oddly enough - perhaps because I force it upon myself - I struggle to only use English words when typing this blog or communicating with family and friends back home. It's a constant temptation to use Italian conjunctions or formulate a sentence in Italian because it is how I've been training myself here. But anyways...it's a beautiful place to learn the language because everyone is a good mix of curious and patient with this new American girl in town. But I must admit that the first day was very rough. Being around this beautiful family of four who eat every supper together and live in a well-kept, cheerful household, I found myself the most homesick that I've ever been. I also found myself feeling the loneliest that I have throughout the trip. I felt isolated because I couldn't fully engage in conversation and I missed the Sisters who I had grown even closer to throughout the week I spent with them. These feelings left me longing for my time of prayer - my time to talk with the one Person here who I knew before my arrival. I longed for intimacy with this Friend and I could barely wait for my chance to be alone with Him. This chance came in the afternoon after a morning of mass (in the Ambrosion Rite), little Italian kids, and an after-lunch nap. I sat before the tabernacle, shed a few tears, and spilled my heart out to the only One who I can communicate with without any written or spoken language as long as we speak with love. I sat before Him, took many deep breaths, and realized that in fact I was not alone and that He had always taken care of me before and would continue to do so. And sure enough, despite my many doubts, He gave me many cute and curious Italian youth to talk to in the afternoon who encouraged me in my speaking and gave me the attention my loneliness was craving.  With my confidence built up again, I rode home with Marina in a car no longer heavy with my silence but filled with light and delightful conversation.

Today instead of working with the kids, who are out on a gita, I spent my morning in prayer and running errands with Marina (the mother of the family I am living with). In the afternoon, we visited the St. Vincent de Paul Society to help package bags for the families who will pick them up tomorrow morning. There seem to be many social justice organizations in this area, all of which Marina helps out in some form or fashion. She's a pretty great lady and I'm very blessed to be living with her. I feel like one of her own as I eat the food she prepares and am chauffeured around by her. Also her daughter Bea has quickly become a great companion of mine. She is patient with my broken Italian and invites me with her to events with friends or activities around the house. Tomorrow we are even going to an Italian barbeque! Marina's husband and son are also around but I see less of them.

As a way to wrap up, I'm going to reemphasize some very important points for me this summer. First simplicity. I know that I have talked in length about this before but I really feel that I am living a life of beautiful simplicity here in Italy. I have few material items and less words to speak then normal since my italian vocabulary is still seemingly in its infancy. Also, I have been living in the present moment. During my program in Camerino this was a bit more difficult because I have a schedule (even though it changed quite often). But my days with the Apostles and my days here in Induno so far have been lived day-by-day. For example, I don't know my schedule for tomorrow and it's 7 pm. Heck, in all honesty, I don't know the schedule for tonight. I think we might be going to get gelato by the lake (fingers crossed eh?). This makes it a bit hard to schedule Skype dates or other plans but it also allows me to live a beautiful freedom. I am no longer a prisoner to my worries about the future and can concentrate on enjoying the present. It's also harder to dwell on the past because I am still working on developing a good memory in Italian. Much of what I hear or say is literally lost in translation (if I don't translate it into English, I may understand in the moment but probably wont remember it later). This is a bit odd and possibly not good but...I'm not worrying remember? As the Italians would say "Allora...". I think I will go now and try to be social with my host family. I think I hear Marina in the kitchen cooking up something delicious for supper no doubt. There may possibly be some Italian tv on as well which I could use to practice my listening and understanding skills. I need to shift back into Italian anyways since I have been spending the last hour writing this in English. Please continue to pray for me and trust that I am praying for you! Ciao, ciao!!

Finally I post something...

21 Giugno

Tonight there was a small festival outside of San Filippo church near our apartment (although arguably in Camerino, everything is near our apartment). It was really fun even if the music from the live band was too loud (as usually is the case). First it was just me and Fernanda. She had a gelato and I had a frittata with Nutella – yum!

Then, after walking 10 minutes around Camerino and finding ourselves lead back to the same place over and over, we ran into Mateus and Sarai who we ventured back over to the festa with. By this time there were some ladies near the stage jamming out to Elvis, no doubt reminiscing in the good ole days and the lot was filled with smiles and warm chatter between family and friends. We found a seat near some locals we knew and enjoyed beer and dancing. A funny thing to me was that all of the songs were in English but when speaking the band was full blood Italian. I guess I’m just still not used to the fact that American music is exported so heavily (along with the English language in general). Most public places that play music choose songs with English lyrics and almost every piece of clothing has its writing in English. It’s sad to me because it’s hard to escape my language and its showing me how naïve and somewhat sheltered the life I live in the States is. I am not as exposed to songs or artists from other countries and rarely see clothing with writing that’s not English. Despite this negative realization, I am now motivated to seek out foreign entertainment upon my return home. I had a great evening and enjoyed the small town get together immensely! Oh Camerino, you steal my heart every time! (My bedroom 00:32)

22 giugno

Today we are in Florence and as beautiful and historically important as this place is, it’s too much to see in one day without an apartment or comfortable place to rest. The sun is unforgiving and the sites are too grand to digest in less than 8 hours. However, being here brings back many memories from the Renaissance and Reformation Europe class I took in the spring. It was based out of Florence appropriately and I learned a lot about this place. I am specifically struck sitting here in the Loggia of the Signoria near the Palazzo Vecchio where I can see both Benvenuto Cellini’s Perseus and Niccolo Machiavelli’s office window without even a turn of my head. After reading Cellini’s autobiography, which read like an over exaggerated action novel, it’s a bit overwhelming to stand before one of his masterpieces as a symbol of his actual existence. And I can almost imagine Machiavelli peering out his window onto the large piazza and watching people (far less in quantity than today I’d guess) walk about in their daily routine as he lamented over the uncertain future of his precious Florence. This is the same piazza that claimed the controversial life of Savonarola in a way that drawn accounts depict as a massive pile of burning timbers. Yes, here I sit before the grand center of the Renaissance and my humanity wins because all I want to do is sleep (15:19 Loggia Della Signoria; Firenze)

This evening was filled with both sincere frustration and genuine joy. First our bus left Florence an hour later than planned and after 20 minutes of travel, we stopped for a 40 supper break. This especially our bus being an hour late, left most, if not all, of us tired out foreigners near anger. However, I think I laughed more during the ride home than I have my whole time in Italy. Sitting with Fernanda, as per usual, I found myself in a game of teach English and learn Portuguese. It’s difficult enough that neither of us speak the other’s mother tongue (although fortunately for me Nanda understands most English), but this is a game requiring complete trust. For all I now, Nanda could have been just putting sounds together and giving them significance. I don’t believe this for a second of course but it illustrates the trust exercise the game entailed. I don’t even know how to explain the rest of what made us so giggly but thinking back on it with a large smile on my face and contentment in my heart, I can’t help but marvel at the fact that we developed such a close friends over such a short period of time with a language that is neither of our own. We have multi-lingual inside jokes (including hand gestures) and can throw the other into fits of roaring laughter with only a look. The Lord has truly blessed me here and not just with Nanda but with so many others. Others who I hope to be lifelong friends of mine. Although I know this will be difficult, especially once we find ourselves back in our own country doing our normal routine, I’ve never been so motivated to utilize the international communicative advantages of social media (Facebook, Instagram, Skype). I’m looking forward to seeing where the Lord guides these beautiful people and I hope to, in some form of fashion, play a role throughout the duration of each of their lives. (00:31 Nel mio letto; Camerino)

23 giugno

 

Mateus! Birthday boy!

Tonight we went to a real Castle! It was so well preserved that original clothing and furniture of the noble family was still present there. This includes priestly vestments and a small personal chapel. The history lover in me was freaking out. To imagine the thoughts and emotions of the person whose window I was peering out of or room I was standing in gave me a thrill I can’t describe. I even saw the bed that Pope Clement upon his visit slept in! Maybe my idea of life in a castle is over romanticized but it sure seemed like a nice way of life. After the short tour, we were lead into a side courtyard set up with tables and a stage. The night was filled with eating, drinking (wine of course), singing, and dancing. It is always a blast handing out with my classmates and this was a great venue! At one point, I decided I was tired of dancing and being around so many people (introvert problems) so I ventured off to where I thought I’d be able to see the stars better. This required that I walk down the road a little ways to get passed the trees and see the sky. This didn’t quite work out but a better surprise awaiting me – an experience I hadn’t had since a small child – I saw fireflies (or lightening bugs if you prefer). In the moment all I could think was “thank You Lord” because in my attempt to find what I thought would delight me most, I was reminded once again that only He who created me knows what will give me true joy. I also had to smile because it reminded me of an old friend’s explanation of the night sky as a “bunch of fireflies that got stuck up in that big black thing.” Not being able to contain the excitement to myself, I ran back to the dance floor to grab Fernanda and drag her to the road. Like me she was floored and we sat looking at them for a while being joined by some of our friends later. Overall, the evening was fun and proved to me that a little wine really does help one speak a foreign language easier. Unfortunately we returned later than planned. (Surprise…this is Italy). Now I must hit the hay and soak in what sleep I can. Tomorrow we head to Assisi in the afternoon after a morning of classes. (2:16 in my bed in Camerino).

24 giugno

I’m searching for words to describe my experience in Assisi but all I can think is that I have to go back! It was so amazing. To be in the same place, see the same rolling hills, walk on the same streets as Saints Francis and Clare is beyond words. Upon arriving, Sarai, Fernanda, and I broke off from the group and traveled down to San Damiano – the convent where the crucifix came alive and spoke to Francis and where Clare spent 42 years of her life. I saw the wooden choir chairs Clare sang from, the place where she prayed, the table she ate at, and the place she died. This place offered a stark and actually refreshing contrast to places like Saint Peter’s basilica. The humility and poverty embraced by these two saints is so inspiring. Talk about simplicity. Having journeyed with Clare and Francis throughout the last semester, I feel close to these two and still can’t believe I was actually in Assisi. After San Damiano we walked the short distance to the Basilica of St. Clare (everything is close in Assisi). Here rests the body St. Clare and the crucifix that God spoke to St. Francis through to tell him to rebuild the Lord’s church. It was originally in the chapel at San Damiano but later moved to its current location. Kneeling before this crucifix nearly brought me to tears. It’s really not an explainable sensation but it happened. After this we viewed the body of St. Clare which was also very emotional for me. Finally we ended our short stay in Assisi at the Basilica of St. Francis. This church houses the famous Giotto paintings of the life of Francis and was built over the saint’s tomb. Viewing his tomb in the lower basilica, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the Poverello. Having espoused himself to Lady Poverty and humbling requesting to be buried away from the public eye, a large basilica was built over his grave and a small chapel carved around his final resting place. Although I know that Francis desired the Lord to be in the limelight and not himself, I am thankful to the Friar who controversially constructed this grand edifice. Having the ability to kneel before the remains of such a great saint who changed so much in our world and continues to provide an example of simplicity at its finest was an experience that I will take with me forever. Leaving Assisi, I was as content as content can be. It gave me great joy to go to these places and especially to share them with Sarai and Fernanda. Assisi is definitely a place I look forward to visiting again. It is my preference to spend time in a place and really experience and immerse myself in it rather than just see it and move on. I hope to return with my parents and brother in August on our way to Rome. Sts. Francis and Clare, pray for us. (22:39 living room couch; Camerino).

27 giugno - The day of goodbyes

So as departure grew near Friday became harder to bear. I kept thinking how it was my last full day in this place and with these people. Thankfully, the Lord offered me a heck of a distraction from this in the middle of the night. Now, you guessed it, is storytime...

After a night with the girls that began with dinner and lasted until near 3 am, I headed back to the apartment with every intention of getting in a couple hours of sleep. Little did I know, a different activity awaited me. Upon returning, I found Fernanda asleep on the couch but she quickly awoke and joined me in my bedroom to chat and watch me gather my things. Moving my suitcase and bag of "providence" for the Sisters (I was taking the leftover unused food supplies such as oil, salt, and sugar to the Sisters who depend on donations for their food), I felt something wet on the bag of providence and realized the oil had leaked. I thought, ok, I'll have to go through the bag and clean it out...great. But then, I looked to my bed and my eyes grew wide as they beheld a great big yellow spot in the middle of my white comforter. Full of shame, I looked to see if Fernanda had seen it yet, and bracing myself for her laughter, I beckoned her attention. Taking it off to wash it in the sink, I noticed the sheet underneath it also bore the same spot...as well as the two beneath it...and the mattress. "Oh dear." Sadness was furthest from my mind at this point but thankfully my roommates kept me grounded. I preceded to hand wash everything and then, with the insistence of Ju, I threw the sheets into the washing machine and went to "bed". Fernanda stayed in Catherine and my room that night. We stayed up talking a bit before falling asleep. We even left the window open to allow the morning light shine in. The next morning (about 1.5 hours later), I awoke to the washing machine still going. Stopping it and taking the sheets out, I noticed that they were all completely clean but also completely soaked. Thus, leaving the house that morning, the sheets were thrown across various pieces of furniture in my room looking as if it were a place of storage. Another oil mishap occurred that morning as well when Catherine dropped the same bottle of oil on the kitchen floor and left us with a glassy, oily mess to clean up. All this to say that the Lord gave us reason to forget our sorrow and focus on the present moment.  

That same morning I delivered some notes to my friends from San Giacomo daily mass. I wasn't able to give them a proper goodbye since the longer mass left me running to school Friday morning. Thus, I wrote a little note to each of the friends (family) I made there. Later on Don Mariano added me on Facebook and sent me a beautiful message in return so I know that they received them.

From Friday: This morning in mass as I fought back tears, I realized that The Lord doesn't put people in our lives and then take them out. They remain with us. I am forever changed and forever better for having come to this town and met these people. It is quite possible I'll never see them in the flesh again but everyday I will see pieces of them in me.

I don't know how the teachers at the school do this every month - tearful goodbyes and quick turnovers. It's so hard for me. But if it wasn't hard then it would mean I didn't make such close bonds and share memorable experiences with these people. It's really quite miraculous that in 4 weeks (less in some cases) a group of people can literally become like family (even when their common language is weak and broken). Love really is the universal language. As Paul reminds us in Corinthians I may speak every language "but if I do not have love I am a resounding gong or clashing symbol" (1 Cor. 13:1). I have fallen in love over and over and over again in the passed month, and I think I know the exact reason why. I fell in love with this place and these people because I found in it and in them the beauty of the Lord, the love of the Lord, the joy of the Lord, the humor of the Lord, His cleverness, His depth, His intelligence, His mischievousness, His mystery, His majesty. I saw His smile, was wrapped in His warm embrace, heard His laugh, fell asleep on His shoulder, and discovered new and incredible things about His plan for me. It's impossible for me to again be the girl I was when I arrived in this enchanting fairytale of a town and I wouldn't want to. I wouldn't trade the blubbery mess I am right now (and surely will be later) for all of the laughter and smiles in the world because I know that this emotion is the direct cause of pure, genuine, and authentic joy. Joy that will last. Joy that only He can give. These people are Yours Lord. I have to let them go. But one day I trust we'll all be together again for all of eternity in the fullness of Your glory and joy!

The joy of a moment is written on the face, but the joy of a lifetime is written on the heart. (28 giugno 7:05am bus leaving Camerino)

A group of my classmates and locals at the going away BBQ.

Oh yeah...I passed the course!

Rome and Cortina

After departing with my Camerino friends, I headed to the House of Formation in Rome of the Apostles of the Interior Life to begin my week with them. Knowing them I should have known but I was not ready for the joy that I would experience. I was so concentrated on the hole in my heart from the absence of my new friends that, at first, I wasn't open to the fullness of joy the Lord was presenting my in the present moment. However, it didn't take me long to forget my sorrow as I reunited with many familiar faces and places. Of course, I still missed my friends from Camerino and thought of them and our inside jokes often, but this was no longer an obstacle to my happiness.

Briana and I after mass with the Pope!!

I spent about three days in Rome venturing out to get gelato and settling back into a more stable and frequent prayer life. And after that, we packed up and headed to the North of Italy (Cortina d'Ampezzo). Now, if you look up this place, you will find picture perfect landscapes of mountains, valleys, waterfalls, and ski slopes. It seems a bit odd that a religious community would spend their Julys in a resort town but it is just another example of the Lord's providence. Over 15 years ago, a family who owns a vacation lodge here offered it up for their use. They've been coming her and ministering to the people in the town each summer ever since. It is the only time of year that the whole community is together and it is beautiful to see them interact and enjoy each others' presence. Praying with them is a pure joy. Many of them are musically talented. There is a girl who plays violin and several who play guitar. During adoration the church is filled with beautiful harmonies and instrumentals. All of this aids my prayer and helps me to enter into deeper dialogue with my Lord.

Ironically, in this place that is almost to picture-perfect, I am experiencing such a rich reality. I live for the present day. For example, I don't know tomorrow's schedule so I can't worry about it or imagine its events. I merely have today to pass with these beautiful women who really know how to enjoy life, laugh, and appreciate the little things. There's a feeling of home here. And, again, it will be difficult to leave. Thankfully I won't have to think of this until Monday.

Kalin and I before the hike

Tatum braided my hair; Briana and I loved the views

We have gone on two hikes since I have been here. After the first day being rainy and unpromising, Thursday had clear blue skies and proved perfect for a hike. We hiked for about an hour and a half and then reached a small tunnel. Emerging from the tunnel, I found myself before a view of the whole valley and couldn't shake the feeling of being in the Land Before Time and beholding the Great Valley. It was stunning and breathtaking. This venture was followed by lunch in a near by meadow. After this, Tatum gave a beautiful meditation on Mary which we pondered independently for around 15 minutes after. Then a group of Italians ironically started up a game of Mafia (card game) while a few of us took advantage of the opportunity to nap. It was a joy filled afternoon of laughter and rest. It took about half the time to return to the car and 30 minutes later we were back at the house. The beauty of the hike and breathing the fresh mountain air was a treat we all cherished.

The hiking group before the Great Valley!

Last night, we put on Notte di Luce. This is a night of adoration in the local church here in Cortina. The Sisters put it on and provide music for it. Half of us prayed our holy hour during the first hour and half of us were in the street inviting others to come inside. This we did in pairs, thankfully, because not every person was a tourist that spoke English. It was also a bit terrifying approaching people to invite them to pray. One doesn't always get the best reaction from something like this. In our society, for some reason, being into one's faith and possessing a deep prayer life isn't exactly considered "cool", and sadly enough, God and religion has become somewhat of a taboo topic. In any case, here we were on the street going right up against the popular current. However, there were many people who at least popped their head in in curiosity and even lit a candle before the exposed Blessed Sacrament on the altar. My partner, Sr. Sabina, and I even met a young couple who we spoke with for around 10 minutes. They were Italian so it was my chance to really give my speaking a go. I have to say that it went pretty well. It was difficult of course but it was also thrilling. I understood most of what she said and think that I articulated myself decently well. They also entered the church to light a candle which was the end of our turn at street evangelization.

And in case you are wondering, yes, we also celebrated the Fourth of July (since there are many Americans here as well) with American breakfast for supper. We had pancakes, eggs, hashbrowns, and a red, white, and blue fruit dessert.

Today we went out on another hike but the ominous rain clouds kept us from venturing out too far. It was also colder today since we were higher up. There was even still pockets of snow where we were. On the generous offer of Sr. Raffaella's mom, we all headed to the closest refuge for warm beverages. I drank a thick hot chocolate. There was also a wedding reception happening at the refuge so we enjoyed some covers of American classics such as "My Girl." After this, on the way down, we stopped by some remaining trenches from WWI and reflected on the reality of war and its effects on the participants and the world. It was a sobering detour but I am glad that we went.

the view during today's hike

Now I am sitting in the living room enjoying a relaxing evening at the house. There isn't anything planned right now so I decided to take advantage of the opportunity to finally write and publish this blog. I hope to get back on a more routine schedule with it once I get settled into Induno Olona - my home for the month of July.

Until then, Ciao! Know that I am praying for you all!

Sending my love and joy your way!! :) There is plenty to go around!!