There's a lot of emotion involved in leaving a place or state in life. And I've been experiencing that as my time in college here at A&M comes to an end.
As I come upon these final days I catch myself in moments of remembrance of what it was like to be a Freshman - or even a Junior - with the knowledge that there was much time ahead of me at this university. I remember also actually feeling like it was a lot. And although this brings a wave of nostalgia and even sadness at the fact that this "a lot" has been replaced with a very small "little", I am not dissatisfied with where I am at.
In fact, I wouldn't trade the person I am - the person I've become -, the position that I'm in, or the future that I have ahead of me for anything. I wouldn't go back to those days of having much time ahead of me in college.
Would I do it all over again? Yes...to the extent that I would do again what got me to the place that I am now - to the person that I am now. I would do again what allowed me to see how the Lord wanted to and did work through those events.
But I have to also answer "no". I would not do it all over again because I am happy where I'm at and I'm ready to be here, to move on, to begin the new adventures the Lord has in store for my life - to start this journey with Him.
These last four years have shaped me, formed me, and made me into the person I am today, the person who's ready - ready to follow the Lord, ready to be surprise by Him continually in this journey we call life. Yes it's difficult and no it's not necessarily always fun but I am ready. It's hard to leave the relationships that I've established and the places that I've learned to call home. But if it wasn't difficult than what was it for? I'm learning as I experience leaving more and more in my life that the difficulty of leaving comes from the existence of love in what I have to leave. And in a weird roundabout way the fact that this time of my life is difficult is actually affirmation that the time that passed immediately before this was beautiful and loving and life-giving. I wouldn't trade that for anything! In fact, I welcome this feeling of difficulty knowing what it signifies.
So for all of you about to graduate (from anything), change jobs, move cities, or enter into any type of transition period that requires a certain amount of "leaving", embrace this time of difficulty and challenge. Take it as a chance not only to solidify those relationships that will from now on be strained by physical distance but to strengthen also the relationship that is forever present to us - the relationship with our Lord. He is the one constant we have in this life and the next. Drawing close to Him during this time brings comfort, courage, and deeper understanding that we cannot achieve on our own. And through Him, we can recognize the years leading up to this point as a great gift and blessing so filled with love that it hurts to leave it behind.
Lord, I thank you for the difficulty of "leaving".
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