Learning from wild flowers: A Beautiful Soul

On Friday March 27 I was reminded of the fragility of life on this earth.

I experienced the paradoxical emptiness and heaviness that only grief can bring.

At 10:45 am I was reminded that we are made for so much more.

I cannot claim to be Karen Barnett's best friend or frequent coffee date. I do not know the intricacies of her life or even her favorite color. But I do know from the precious time I did spend with her that she possessed a caring heart from which abundant kindness flowed. Her humility kept her grounded but also created the opportunity to truly love herself and her life in a way that we who refuse to accept our littleness have not experienced. She was awkward and knew it - heck she fully embraced it! When excited or giddy about something she really loved (like Lord of the Rings, quiditch, or brownies) she would fidget or even stumble around and smile throughout her whole person. Speaking about stumbling, talk about clumsy - again a characteristic she heartily accepted. And she would most definitely have been embarrassed of a post so complimentary of her.

There is so much I have to learn from this friend of mine. She just knew how to live life well embracing the present moment. And boy did she love God. Her childhood dream was to become a nun (a.k.a. give her life totally and unreservedly to Her Creator). She pursued this call faithfully and enthusiastically which is how our paths first crossed. Meeting in our FIAT discernment group, Karen played a special role in my life along with the small group of girls who taught me not to be afraid of the movements of my heart leading me toward a life given completely to Christ.

Roadtrips seemed to be our specialty as we made two very LONG ones together. First we traveled with 2 other Aggies to Phoenix, Arizona to spend a week with the Daughters of St. Paul. Her parents, clearly the source of her generous heart, lent us their van and enough peanut butter, jelly, apple slices, and cookies to get us over three state-lines and back. Then, she accompanied me and another friend of ours from that same FIAT group on a whirlwind trip to Hanceville, Alabama to see the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament. (And by whirlwind I mean we spent more time in the car than at our destination). Driving through the night, Karen championed the art of staying awake with Katie as I napped (i.e. full-on slept) in the backseat.

There was even a time last year when she and another girl (again from the FIAT group) went on a house hunt considering living together this academic year. Bummed that that fell through, I was overjoyed to see her last semester at a small Catholic gathering. Turns out that after graduating early, Karen detected a call from the Lord to put a hold on the path towards Consecrated Life and began to work in the College Station area. Speaking with her at the gathering, I saw real joy and peace. It was clear that her heart was quite content. Our other friend even questioned her about this diversion from her childhood dream wondering if Karen felt frustration or disappointment at not entering into a religious community.

I will leave you with Karen's response. It warrants meditation all on its own. Let us read her words and look within our own hearts to be honest about what our own disposition is. Is it one of such surrender and contentment as that of Karen's? If not, let us ask the Lord for the grace to get there so that we may follow in the steps of Karen who may not have achieved the symbol of complete union with Christ in this world (i.e. Consecrated Life) but instead bypassed straight to the real thing.