21 Giugno
Tonight there was a small festival outside of San Filippo
church near our apartment (although arguably in Camerino, everything is near
our apartment). It was really fun even if the music from the live band was too
loud (as usually is the case). First it was just me and Fernanda. She had a
gelato and I had a frittata with Nutella – yum!
Then, after walking 10 minutes around
Camerino and finding ourselves lead back to the same place over and over, we
ran into Mateus and Sarai who we ventured back over to the festa with. By this
time there were some ladies near the stage jamming out to Elvis, no doubt reminiscing
in the good ole days and the lot was filled with smiles and warm chatter
between family and friends. We found a seat near some locals we knew and
enjoyed beer and dancing. A funny thing to me was that all of the songs were in
English but when speaking the band was full blood Italian. I guess I’m just
still not used to the fact that American music is exported so heavily (along
with the English language in general). Most public places that play music
choose songs with English lyrics and almost every piece of clothing has its
writing in English. It’s sad to me because it’s hard to escape my language and
its showing me how naïve and somewhat sheltered the life I live in the States
is. I am not as exposed to songs or artists from other countries and rarely see
clothing with writing that’s not English. Despite this negative realization, I
am now motivated to seek out foreign entertainment upon my return home. I had a
great evening and enjoyed the small town get together immensely! Oh Camerino,
you steal my heart every time! (My bedroom 00:32)
So as departure grew near Friday became harder to bear. I kept thinking how it was my last full day in this place and with these people. Thankfully, the Lord offered me a heck of a distraction from this in the middle of the night. Now, you guessed it, is storytime...
After a night with the girls that began with dinner and lasted until near 3 am, I headed back to the apartment with every intention of getting in a couple hours of sleep. Little did I know, a different activity awaited me. Upon returning, I found Fernanda asleep on the couch but she quickly awoke and joined me in my bedroom to chat and watch me gather my things. Moving my suitcase and bag of "providence" for the Sisters (I was taking the leftover unused food supplies such as oil, salt, and sugar to the Sisters who depend on donations for their food), I felt something wet on the bag of providence and realized the oil had leaked. I thought, ok, I'll have to go through the bag and clean it out...great. But then, I looked to my bed and my eyes grew wide as they beheld a great big yellow spot in the middle of my white comforter. Full of shame, I looked to see if Fernanda had seen it yet, and bracing myself for her laughter, I beckoned her attention. Taking it off to wash it in the sink, I noticed the sheet underneath it also bore the same spot...as well as the two beneath it...and the mattress. "Oh dear." Sadness was furthest from my mind at this point but thankfully my roommates kept me grounded. I preceded to hand wash everything and then, with the insistence of Ju, I threw the sheets into the washing machine and went to "bed". Fernanda stayed in Catherine and my room that night. We stayed up talking a bit before falling asleep. We even left the window open to allow the morning light shine in. The next morning (about 1.5 hours later), I awoke to the washing machine still going. Stopping it and taking the sheets out, I noticed that they were all completely clean but also completely soaked. Thus, leaving the house that morning, the sheets were thrown across various pieces of furniture in my room looking as if it were a place of storage. Another oil mishap occurred that morning as well when Catherine dropped the same bottle of oil on the kitchen floor and left us with a glassy, oily mess to clean up. All this to say that the Lord gave us reason to forget our sorrow and focus on the present moment.
That same morning I delivered some notes to my friends from San Giacomo daily mass. I wasn't able to give them a proper goodbye since the longer mass left me running to school Friday morning. Thus, I wrote a little note to each of the friends (family) I made there. Later on Don Mariano added me on Facebook and sent me a beautiful message in return so I know that they received them.
From Friday: This morning in mass as I fought back tears, I realized that The Lord doesn't put people in our lives and then take them out. They remain with us. I am forever changed and forever better for having come to this town and met these people. It is quite possible I'll never see them in the flesh again but everyday I will see pieces of them in me.
I don't know how the teachers at the school do this every month - tearful goodbyes and quick turnovers. It's so hard for me. But if it wasn't hard then it would mean I didn't make such close bonds and share memorable experiences with these people. It's really quite miraculous that in 4 weeks (less in some cases) a group of people can literally become like family (even when their common language is weak and broken). Love really is the universal language. As Paul reminds us in Corinthians I may speak every language "but if I do not have love I am a resounding gong or clashing symbol" (1 Cor. 13:1). I have fallen in love over and over and over again in the passed month, and I think I know the exact reason why. I fell in love with this place and these people because I found in it and in them the beauty of the Lord, the love of the Lord, the joy of the Lord, the humor of the Lord, His cleverness, His depth, His intelligence, His mischievousness, His mystery, His majesty. I saw His smile, was wrapped in His warm embrace, heard His laugh, fell asleep on His shoulder, and discovered new and incredible things about His plan for me. It's impossible for me to again be the girl I was when I arrived in this enchanting fairytale of a town and I wouldn't want to. I wouldn't trade the blubbery mess I am right now (and surely will be later) for all of the laughter and smiles in the world because I know that this emotion is the direct cause of pure, genuine, and authentic joy. Joy that will last. Joy that only He can give. These people are Yours Lord. I have to let them go. But one day I trust we'll all be together again for all of eternity in the fullness of Your glory and joy!
The joy of a moment is written on the face, but the joy of a lifetime is written on the heart. (28 giugno 7:05am bus leaving Camerino)
Oh yeah...I passed the course!
Rome and Cortina
After departing with my Camerino friends, I headed to the House of Formation in Rome of the Apostles of the Interior Life to begin my week with them. Knowing them I should have known but I was not ready for the joy that I would experience. I was so concentrated on the hole in my heart from the absence of my new friends that, at first, I wasn't open to the fullness of joy the Lord was presenting my in the present moment. However, it didn't take me long to forget my sorrow as I reunited with many familiar faces and places. Of course, I still missed my friends from Camerino and thought of them and our inside jokes often, but this was no longer an obstacle to my happiness.
I spent about three days in Rome venturing out to get gelato and settling back into a more stable and frequent prayer life. And after that, we packed up and headed to the North of Italy (Cortina d'Ampezzo). Now, if you look up this place, you will find picture perfect landscapes of mountains, valleys, waterfalls, and ski slopes. It seems a bit odd that a religious community would spend their Julys in a resort town but it is just another example of the Lord's providence. Over 15 years ago, a family who owns a vacation lodge here offered it up for their use. They've been coming her and ministering to the people in the town each summer ever since. It is the only time of year that the whole community is together and it is beautiful to see them interact and enjoy each others' presence. Praying with them is a pure joy. Many of them are musically talented. There is a girl who plays violin and several who play guitar. During adoration the church is filled with beautiful harmonies and instrumentals. All of this aids my prayer and helps me to enter into deeper dialogue with my Lord.
Ironically, in this place that is almost to picture-perfect, I am experiencing such a rich reality. I live for the present day. For example, I don't know tomorrow's schedule so I can't worry about it or imagine its events. I merely have today to pass with these beautiful women who really know how to enjoy life, laugh, and appreciate the little things. There's a feeling of home here. And, again, it will be difficult to leave. Thankfully I won't have to think of this until Monday.
We have gone on two hikes since I have been here. After the first day being rainy and unpromising, Thursday had clear blue skies and proved perfect for a hike. We hiked for about an hour and a half and then reached a small tunnel. Emerging from the tunnel, I found myself before a view of the whole valley and couldn't shake the feeling of being in the Land Before Time and beholding the Great Valley. It was stunning and breathtaking. This venture was followed by lunch in a near by meadow. After this, Tatum gave a beautiful meditation on Mary which we pondered independently for around 15 minutes after. Then a group of Italians ironically started up a game of Mafia (card game) while a few of us took advantage of the opportunity to nap. It was a joy filled afternoon of laughter and rest. It took about half the time to return to the car and 30 minutes later we were back at the house. The beauty of the hike and breathing the fresh mountain air was a treat we all cherished.
Last night, we put on Notte di Luce. This is a night of adoration in the local church here in Cortina. The Sisters put it on and provide music for it. Half of us prayed our holy hour during the first hour and half of us were in the street inviting others to come inside. This we did in pairs, thankfully, because not every person was a tourist that spoke English. It was also a bit terrifying approaching people to invite them to pray. One doesn't always get the best reaction from something like this. In our society, for some reason, being into one's faith and possessing a deep prayer life isn't exactly considered "cool", and sadly enough, God and religion has become somewhat of a taboo topic. In any case, here we were on the street going right up against the popular current. However, there were many people who at least popped their head in in curiosity and even lit a candle before the exposed Blessed Sacrament on the altar. My partner, Sr. Sabina, and I even met a young couple who we spoke with for around 10 minutes. They were Italian so it was my chance to really give my speaking a go. I have to say that it went pretty well. It was difficult of course but it was also thrilling. I understood most of what she said and think that I articulated myself decently well. They also entered the church to light a candle which was the end of our turn at street evangelization.
And in case you are wondering, yes, we also celebrated the Fourth of July (since there are many Americans here as well) with American breakfast for supper. We had pancakes, eggs, hashbrowns, and a red, white, and blue fruit dessert.
Today we went out on another hike but the ominous rain clouds kept us from venturing out too far. It was also colder today since we were higher up. There was even still pockets of snow where we were. On the generous offer of Sr. Raffaella's mom, we all headed to the closest refuge for warm beverages. I drank a thick hot chocolate. There was also a wedding reception happening at the refuge so we enjoyed some covers of American classics such as "My Girl." After this, on the way down, we stopped by some remaining trenches from WWI and reflected on the reality of war and its effects on the participants and the world. It was a sobering detour but I am glad that we went.
Now I am sitting in the living room enjoying a relaxing evening at the house. There isn't anything planned right now so I decided to take advantage of the opportunity to finally write and publish this blog. I hope to get back on a more routine schedule with it once I get settled into Induno Olona - my home for the month of July.
Until then, Ciao! Know that I am praying for you all!
22 giugno
Today we are in Florence and as beautiful and historically
important as this place is, it’s too much to see in one day without an
apartment or comfortable place to rest. The sun is unforgiving and the sites
are too grand to digest in less than 8 hours. However, being here brings back
many memories from the Renaissance and Reformation Europe class I took in the
spring. It was based out of Florence appropriately and I learned a lot about
this place. I am specifically struck sitting here in the Loggia of the Signoria
near the Palazzo Vecchio where I can see both Benvenuto Cellini’s Perseus and
Niccolo Machiavelli’s office window without even a turn of my head. After
reading Cellini’s autobiography, which read like an over exaggerated action
novel, it’s a bit overwhelming to stand before one of his masterpieces as a
symbol of his actual existence. And I can almost imagine Machiavelli peering
out his window onto the large piazza and watching people (far less in quantity
than today I’d guess) walk about in their daily routine as he lamented over the
uncertain future of his precious Florence. This is the same piazza that claimed
the controversial life of Savonarola in a way that drawn accounts depict as a
massive pile of burning timbers. Yes, here I sit before the grand center of the
Renaissance and my humanity wins because all I want to do is sleep (15:19
Loggia Della Signoria; Firenze)
This evening was filled with both sincere frustration and
genuine joy. First our bus left Florence an hour later than planned and after
20 minutes of travel, we stopped for a 40 supper break. This especially our bus
being an hour late, left most, if not all, of us tired out foreigners near
anger. However, I think I laughed more during the ride home than I have my
whole time in Italy. Sitting with Fernanda, as per usual, I found myself in a
game of teach English and learn Portuguese. It’s difficult enough that neither
of us speak the other’s mother tongue (although fortunately for me Nanda
understands most English), but this is a game requiring complete trust. For
all I now, Nanda could have been just putting sounds together and giving them
significance. I don’t believe this for a second of course but it illustrates
the trust exercise the game entailed. I don’t even know how to explain the rest
of what made us so giggly but thinking back on it with a large smile on my face
and contentment in my heart, I can’t help but marvel at the fact that we
developed such a close friends over such a short period of time with a
language that is neither of our own. We have multi-lingual inside jokes
(including hand gestures) and can throw the other into fits of roaring laughter
with only a look. The Lord has truly blessed me here and not just with Nanda
but with so many others. Others who I hope to be lifelong friends of mine.
Although I know this will be difficult, especially once we find ourselves back
in our own country doing our normal routine, I’ve never been so motivated to
utilize the international communicative advantages of social media (Facebook,
Instagram, Skype). I’m looking forward to seeing where the Lord guides these
beautiful people and I hope to, in some form of fashion, play a role throughout
the duration of each of their lives. (00:31 Nel mio letto; Camerino)
23 giugno
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| Mateus! Birthday boy! |
Tonight we went to a real Castle! It was so well preserved
that original clothing and furniture of the noble family was still present
there. This includes priestly vestments and a small personal chapel. The
history lover in me was freaking out. To imagine the thoughts and emotions of
the person whose window I was peering out of or room I was standing in gave me
a thrill I can’t describe. I even saw the bed that Pope Clement upon his visit
slept in! Maybe my idea of life in a castle is over romanticized but it sure
seemed like a nice way of life. After the short tour, we were lead into a side
courtyard set up with tables and a stage. The night was filled with eating,
drinking (wine of course), singing, and dancing. It is always a blast handing
out with my classmates and this was a great venue! At one point, I decided I
was tired of dancing and being around so many people (introvert problems) so I
ventured off to where I thought I’d be able to see the stars better. This required
that I walk down the road a little ways to get passed the trees and see the
sky. This didn’t quite work out but a better surprise awaiting me – an
experience I hadn’t had since a small child – I saw fireflies (or lightening
bugs if you prefer). In the moment all I could think was “thank You Lord”
because in my attempt to find what I thought would delight me most, I was
reminded once again that only He who created me knows what will give me true
joy. I also had to smile because it reminded me of an old friend’s explanation
of the night sky as a “bunch of fireflies that got stuck up in that big black
thing.” Not being able to contain the excitement to myself, I ran back to the
dance floor to grab Fernanda and drag her to the road. Like me she was floored
and we sat looking at them for a while being joined by some of our friends
later. Overall, the evening was fun and proved to me that a little wine really
does help one speak a foreign language easier. Unfortunately we returned later
than planned. (Surprise…this is Italy). Now I must hit the hay and soak in what
sleep I can. Tomorrow we head to Assisi in the afternoon after a morning of
classes. (2:16 in my bed in Camerino).
24 giugno
I’m searching for words to describe my experience in Assisi
but all I can think is that I have to go back! It was so amazing. To be in the
same place, see the same rolling hills, walk on the same streets as Saints
Francis and Clare is beyond words. Upon arriving, Sarai, Fernanda, and I broke
off from the group and traveled down to San Damiano – the convent where the
crucifix came alive and spoke to Francis and where Clare spent 42 years of her
life. I saw the wooden choir chairs Clare sang from, the place where she
prayed, the table she ate at, and the place she died. This place offered a
stark and actually refreshing contrast to places like Saint Peter’s basilica.
The humility and poverty embraced by these two saints is so inspiring. Talk
about simplicity. Having journeyed with Clare and Francis throughout the last
semester, I feel close to these two and still can’t believe I was actually in
Assisi. After San Damiano we walked the short distance to the Basilica of St.
Clare (everything is close in Assisi). Here rests the body St. Clare and the
crucifix that God spoke to St. Francis through to tell him to rebuild the
Lord’s church. It was originally in the chapel at San Damiano but later moved
to its current location. Kneeling before this crucifix nearly brought me to
tears. It’s really not an explainable sensation but it happened. After this we
viewed the body of St. Clare which was also very emotional for me. Finally we
ended our short stay in Assisi at the Basilica of St. Francis. This church
houses the famous Giotto paintings of the life of Francis and was built over
the saint’s tomb. Viewing his tomb in the lower basilica, I couldn’t help but
feel sorry for the Poverello. Having espoused himself to Lady Poverty and
humbling requesting to be buried away from the public eye, a large basilica was
built over his grave and a small chapel carved around his final resting place.
Although I know that Francis desired the Lord to be in the limelight and not
himself, I am thankful to the Friar who controversially constructed this grand
edifice. Having the ability to kneel before the remains of such a great saint
who changed so much in our world and continues to provide an example of
simplicity at its finest was an experience that I will take with me forever.
Leaving Assisi, I was as content as content can be. It gave me great joy to go
to these places and especially to share them with Sarai and Fernanda. Assisi is
definitely a place I look forward to visiting again. It is my preference to
spend time in a place and really experience and immerse myself in it rather
than just see it and move on. I hope to return with my parents and brother in
August on our way to Rome. Sts. Francis and Clare, pray for us. (22:39 living
room couch; Camerino).
27 giugno - The day of goodbyesSo as departure grew near Friday became harder to bear. I kept thinking how it was my last full day in this place and with these people. Thankfully, the Lord offered me a heck of a distraction from this in the middle of the night. Now, you guessed it, is storytime...
After a night with the girls that began with dinner and lasted until near 3 am, I headed back to the apartment with every intention of getting in a couple hours of sleep. Little did I know, a different activity awaited me. Upon returning, I found Fernanda asleep on the couch but she quickly awoke and joined me in my bedroom to chat and watch me gather my things. Moving my suitcase and bag of "providence" for the Sisters (I was taking the leftover unused food supplies such as oil, salt, and sugar to the Sisters who depend on donations for their food), I felt something wet on the bag of providence and realized the oil had leaked. I thought, ok, I'll have to go through the bag and clean it out...great. But then, I looked to my bed and my eyes grew wide as they beheld a great big yellow spot in the middle of my white comforter. Full of shame, I looked to see if Fernanda had seen it yet, and bracing myself for her laughter, I beckoned her attention. Taking it off to wash it in the sink, I noticed the sheet underneath it also bore the same spot...as well as the two beneath it...and the mattress. "Oh dear." Sadness was furthest from my mind at this point but thankfully my roommates kept me grounded. I preceded to hand wash everything and then, with the insistence of Ju, I threw the sheets into the washing machine and went to "bed". Fernanda stayed in Catherine and my room that night. We stayed up talking a bit before falling asleep. We even left the window open to allow the morning light shine in. The next morning (about 1.5 hours later), I awoke to the washing machine still going. Stopping it and taking the sheets out, I noticed that they were all completely clean but also completely soaked. Thus, leaving the house that morning, the sheets were thrown across various pieces of furniture in my room looking as if it were a place of storage. Another oil mishap occurred that morning as well when Catherine dropped the same bottle of oil on the kitchen floor and left us with a glassy, oily mess to clean up. All this to say that the Lord gave us reason to forget our sorrow and focus on the present moment.
That same morning I delivered some notes to my friends from San Giacomo daily mass. I wasn't able to give them a proper goodbye since the longer mass left me running to school Friday morning. Thus, I wrote a little note to each of the friends (family) I made there. Later on Don Mariano added me on Facebook and sent me a beautiful message in return so I know that they received them.
From Friday: This morning in mass as I fought back tears, I realized that The Lord doesn't put people in our lives and then take them out. They remain with us. I am forever changed and forever better for having come to this town and met these people. It is quite possible I'll never see them in the flesh again but everyday I will see pieces of them in me.
I don't know how the teachers at the school do this every month - tearful goodbyes and quick turnovers. It's so hard for me. But if it wasn't hard then it would mean I didn't make such close bonds and share memorable experiences with these people. It's really quite miraculous that in 4 weeks (less in some cases) a group of people can literally become like family (even when their common language is weak and broken). Love really is the universal language. As Paul reminds us in Corinthians I may speak every language "but if I do not have love I am a resounding gong or clashing symbol" (1 Cor. 13:1). I have fallen in love over and over and over again in the passed month, and I think I know the exact reason why. I fell in love with this place and these people because I found in it and in them the beauty of the Lord, the love of the Lord, the joy of the Lord, the humor of the Lord, His cleverness, His depth, His intelligence, His mischievousness, His mystery, His majesty. I saw His smile, was wrapped in His warm embrace, heard His laugh, fell asleep on His shoulder, and discovered new and incredible things about His plan for me. It's impossible for me to again be the girl I was when I arrived in this enchanting fairytale of a town and I wouldn't want to. I wouldn't trade the blubbery mess I am right now (and surely will be later) for all of the laughter and smiles in the world because I know that this emotion is the direct cause of pure, genuine, and authentic joy. Joy that will last. Joy that only He can give. These people are Yours Lord. I have to let them go. But one day I trust we'll all be together again for all of eternity in the fullness of Your glory and joy!
The joy of a moment is written on the face, but the joy of a lifetime is written on the heart. (28 giugno 7:05am bus leaving Camerino)
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| A group of my classmates and locals at the going away BBQ. |
Rome and Cortina
After departing with my Camerino friends, I headed to the House of Formation in Rome of the Apostles of the Interior Life to begin my week with them. Knowing them I should have known but I was not ready for the joy that I would experience. I was so concentrated on the hole in my heart from the absence of my new friends that, at first, I wasn't open to the fullness of joy the Lord was presenting my in the present moment. However, it didn't take me long to forget my sorrow as I reunited with many familiar faces and places. Of course, I still missed my friends from Camerino and thought of them and our inside jokes often, but this was no longer an obstacle to my happiness.
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| Briana and I after mass with the Pope!! |
I spent about three days in Rome venturing out to get gelato and settling back into a more stable and frequent prayer life. And after that, we packed up and headed to the North of Italy (Cortina d'Ampezzo). Now, if you look up this place, you will find picture perfect landscapes of mountains, valleys, waterfalls, and ski slopes. It seems a bit odd that a religious community would spend their Julys in a resort town but it is just another example of the Lord's providence. Over 15 years ago, a family who owns a vacation lodge here offered it up for their use. They've been coming her and ministering to the people in the town each summer ever since. It is the only time of year that the whole community is together and it is beautiful to see them interact and enjoy each others' presence. Praying with them is a pure joy. Many of them are musically talented. There is a girl who plays violin and several who play guitar. During adoration the church is filled with beautiful harmonies and instrumentals. All of this aids my prayer and helps me to enter into deeper dialogue with my Lord.
Ironically, in this place that is almost to picture-perfect, I am experiencing such a rich reality. I live for the present day. For example, I don't know tomorrow's schedule so I can't worry about it or imagine its events. I merely have today to pass with these beautiful women who really know how to enjoy life, laugh, and appreciate the little things. There's a feeling of home here. And, again, it will be difficult to leave. Thankfully I won't have to think of this until Monday.
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| Kalin and I before the hike |
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| Tatum braided my hair; Briana and I loved the views |
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| The hiking group before the Great Valley! |
And in case you are wondering, yes, we also celebrated the Fourth of July (since there are many Americans here as well) with American breakfast for supper. We had pancakes, eggs, hashbrowns, and a red, white, and blue fruit dessert.
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| the view during today's hike |
Now I am sitting in the living room enjoying a relaxing evening at the house. There isn't anything planned right now so I decided to take advantage of the opportunity to finally write and publish this blog. I hope to get back on a more routine schedule with it once I get settled into Induno Olona - my home for the month of July.
Until then, Ciao! Know that I am praying for you all!
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| Sending my love and joy your way!! :) There is plenty to go around!! |
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