This past weekend (March 23-27) I
experienced what must be a foretaste of the overwhelming joy of Heaven. I got a
taste of the “complete joy” promised us by Christ Himself. I spent 5 beautiful
days with true friends of God who follow His command and truly love one
another. I witnessed my brother vow to lay down his life each day for his new
bride who promised to submit herself to him in imitation of Christ and His
Church.
Wednesday evening, after a long day of travel, I arrived at DFW
surprised to be greeted by the smiling faces of my parents along with that of
my brother who I had expected to be alone. Immediately a human desire of mine
was granted at Five Guys Burgers and Fries as I sunk my teeth into a juicy
double cheeseburger! At Brandon’s apartment I met Jen’s (and now also his) cat
CJ who accompanied me throughout the night with his occasional yet seemingly
often meowing.
Thursday – my first full day in Dallas – started out early as my
confused body had me up and wide awake by 5 am (around noon Roman time). I was
able to do a good deal of prayer before my family awoke and Brandon started
frying the bacon. (Note on the food: this weekend I ate many classic unhealthy
American favorites with no shame and only a little regret). Like the good ole
days we ate breakfast together – our last as a family of four – laughing and
making fun as we always will. But after breakfast we did something new. We
ended our days of fitting comfortably in a restaurant booth or in a standard
hotel room with 2 double beds with an action that is not only one of the most
beautiful but one that I’d say accurately defines the main focus of the growth
of our family in recent years: we prayed the rosary. In Klekar style we did so
not without laughs as we all simultaneously made the sign of the cross giving a
quick kiss to the crucifix after “Amen” and chased my dad who took off with the
Apostles’ Creed even after we had decided that Brandon would lead us. Each had
personal prayers or intentions to add before each decade and a different idea
of the appropriate speed at which to roll the familiar words off of our tongues
so compromises were to be made. I was forced to close my eyes in order to clog
up the tears that threatened to escape at such a beautiful sight. We are all
now daily rosary prayer-ers and yet we’ve never prayed it together as a family
like this before, and now with Jen no one will even have to lead a decade
twice!
Continuing this union in prayer
we went to Mass at noon before catching a lighter lunch at Jason’s Deli.
Somehow we often find ourselves shopping together and headed off to find luck
at the first store we tried all together. At the second, Brandon and Dad even
joined the hunt for the final piece of my dress which Brandon actually picked
out. Back at the apartment Mom and Dad grabbed our bags to check into the hotel
and we all began to get ready for the evening that would officially kick off
the festivities for which I made the long trip from Rome.
Brandon happily referred to the
weekend as their “Wedding Triduum” as Jen looked on smiling at the rehearsal.
Things all started becoming real as Fr. Kevin explained in great detail when
and where the couple had to stand, hold hands, repeat after him…Words and
expressions like “Rite of Marriage”, “rings”, “I have”, and “Mr. and Mrs.”
stung my ears and my heart began to grow warm. Never before (and never again)
had I been the sister of a groom. Never before had I sat at the front row and
read the first reading at a wedding. Never before had I had a sister…yet here I
was.
The dinner to follow was simple
and delicious. In a back room of La Hacienda Ranch the bridal party and immediate
family of the bride and groom were joined by significant others and close
friends for a fajita buffet. My dad gave a little “thank you” and welcome
speech to start us off and the best man and maid of honor delighted us with
their toasts midway through the meal. Hearing such beautiful words of my
brother and his would-be wife was so amazing. Certainly I could have told them
all the wonderful things they said of Brandon already knowing and loving those
same qualities but there’s something different about hearing them from others
who have different roles and perspectives than I do. A common theme was that of
the central role of God in their relationship. How their individual striving
for intimacy with the Lord not only drew them to each other but makes their
striving for holiness as a couple all that much more powerful. Aside from the
words, this evening was the beginning of my weekend witnessing the shared
looks, small gestures, smiles, love exchanged, mutual respect, and naturally
prayerful disposition of the now newlywed couple.
Friday promised for Jen a day of pampering and for Brandon one of
packing. My day started early – wide awake this time around 5:30 am – in time
to pray my rosary and Morning Prayer before Mass at 7 am at the beautiful
Cathedral downtown. Staying for an hour of adoration after, I found myself
speaking with the Lord about the beauty my heart was trying to soak in after
only one day. The love shared between my brother and Jen is just so obviously
pure and mutual. Already past times visiting I had noticed the way Brandon was
free to be completely himself under Jen’s loving gaze and how Jen was all
“google-eyed” by what for me as his sister was borderline embarrassing.
Needless to say, it makes a little sister very happy to see this and my prayer,
aside from being an intercession for the climax of the wedding weekend, was one
of gratitude and awe at the wonders and goodness of our God.
After spending the morning with a
good friend from college I returned to the hotel in time to meet Jen’s mom and
mine for lunch with Jen and the girls at Newk’s. Mom and I split a pizza and
shared conversation with a table of giggling girls and a miraculously calm and
only slightly stressed bride all with three main things on their mind: the
present moment, the next appointment(s), and the wedding itself.
To make good on the little time I
had with him, mom and I went to a second lunch with Dad, Brandon, and Louis,
Brandon’s best man and oldest friend. During the lunch, before me sat a young
man, calm and collected, capable of both small talk and deeper sharing, more
excited than nervous for the big day. This second lunch was followed by more
last minute shopping. Whereas Thursday the sister of the groom finally bought a
dress for the wedding, Friday marked the day the groom bought an essential to
the honeymoon: swimming trunks! (Not without consulting the future wife I might
add. Thank you multi-media messaging.)
Slipping away to see his future
wife Brandon then left us to prepare for that evening’s events which were to be
one of the most memorable and I’d also say crucial for the peace of the bride
and groom. At around 7pm we all met up at the house of one of the friends along
with some of the wedding party, immediate family, and members of Brandon and
Jen’s separate men and women’s groups. The evening was to be dedicated to
prayer through song and spontaneous intercession for the spouses-to-be. It was
aptly entitled “Praise and Worship”. Singing songs picked by Brandon and Jen we
formed a circle around the couple who sang and prayed with eyes closed and
hands open asking for the pouring down of God’s grace and desiring to render
due thanks and praise to the God without whom none of this would be possible.
At a certain point we came closer placed a hand on them and with the guitar still
softly playing its sweet melody in the background, spontaneous prayers began to
be raised to the heavens on behalf of Brandon and Jen. Prayers for peace,
grace, love, fruitfulness, and prosperity. Prayers against tragedy and suffering.
Prayers of thanksgiving and hopes for the fruit to be born in the Kingdom of
God by the testimony of their married love. Again my eyes were to remain closed
mostly in order to hold back tears although I also felt drawn to watch the
sincerity and rawness with which Brandon and Jen prayed showing the confidence
and comfort of speaking to a friend who they speak with daily and yet showing
also the reverence one must use when tiptoeing on holy ground. At the end Jen
thanked us for joining them for prayer and added that she was glad we – as the
family – were able to see the type of community it was that surrounded them
there in Dallas. And what a community it is! A true witness of the meshing of
the “weirdness” of young people choosing to dedicate their lives to striving
for holiness renouncing that which the world upholds as its highest goods and
the “normalness” of young people who love to joke, make fun, grab a beer, hike,
play a game or sport, and hope to leave their mark in this life. A community
that not only accepts friends as they are and meets them where they are at but
challenges growth and calls to attention that which needs it. A community that
lets this little sister leave her brother and new sister-in-law in peace
knowing that they are more than taken care of. A community that also provokes
in her a slight sting of jealousy desiring to be one who gets to participate so
intimately in the daily living out of their Vocation.
Saturday: it has finally arrived! Again I’m up early – 6 am this
time. I go for a walk around and around the hotel parking lot and I pray. So
much was on my mind and heart so up they go: prayers of intercession, my hopes
and dreams for this couple, for their joy and holiness, for the strength to
live out this Vocation so blatantly attacked in our society. Prayers for peace
and grace in the final hours of their preparation. Prayers for their presence
to each moment soaking it all in and savoring each and every flavor. Prayers
for fruitfulness: for many nieces and nephews to spoil with goodies from Italy
and smother with love. Prayers of wonder at all of the good God is working
through them and gratitude for the God who has put such a woman in my brother’s
life causing him to express a joy that is contagious to all who can’t stop smiling
at the way he keeps smiling at her. Prayers over the first reading which I
would later proclaim that day of a God who rejoices in us as a bridegroom
rejoices in his bride. A rich and powerful image for those around Brandon that
day. Prayers that I too might exude such a joy and love in my Vocation. Prayers
that I too might inspire others to strive for holiness just by the living out
of my daily life. Prayers for Brandon and Jen – the groom and bride soon-to-be
husband and wife.
Invited to the maid of honor’s
mother’s home, my mom and I spent the day with the girls getting ready for the
wedding. As usual from the start Jen was beautiful but it was fun watching the
hair, make-up, and finally the dress bring out even more her natural beauty. At
first I had thought I’d have rather spent the day with Brandon (not that that
was ever an option!), but I’m glad to have been so included by Jen in these
immediate preparations. I was also thus given the chance to get to know her
bridesmaids more who are all such lovely souls. Another lovely soul in our
midst, always present and joyful, was Jen’s mom Pat. I would love – and look
forward to – spending more time with Pat and Jen’s entire family. Similar to
ours in their laid back nature and living out of the faith, I felt instantly
welcomed and comfortable around them. Even though it is Brandon who married their
daughter they continued to speak of the joining of our whole families and not
just the entrance of Brandon into theirs. God is certainly doing wonderful
things here and blessing us greatly in the uniting of our families – a unity
which is sure to bring about much growth on our journey of holiness.
Having a late wedding (7 pm), the
whole day was quite relaxed. Never were we rushed and almost always were we
actually ahead of schedule! I think this, plus the night of praise and worship
along with a well done discernment leading up to this day, allowed Jen to live
the preparation with much peace and calm. Necessary nerves were certainly felt
for the “yes” to be said was not a little one but these were nerves worn with
sincerity and style. Later I was to interrogate my Dad about Brandon’s behavior
before the wedding and he was to confirm that it was quite similar to Jen’s:
calm, joyful, serene, expectant, and eager.
At the church, more pictures were
snapped and the “First Look” was set up. Contrary to common tradition, Brandon
and Jen shared a moment of seeing each other in tux and gown for the first time
before the wedding, followed by the pictures that, if taken after the evening
celebration, would have “stolen” the reception. The First Look was a moment
very precious and special for the bride and groom even if us girls were all
shamelessly watching from the window (they said we could!). I don’t think I’ll
ever forget the look on Brandon’s face when he first saw her – certainly Jen
won’t. Joy. There’s nothing else to be said. It was a joy that showed right
from his heart out through his smile. Neither of them from that moment on
stopped radiating this pure joy all night. And their first action together as
fully dressed bride and groom was, of course, in natural “Bran-Jen” style to
bow their heads in prayer before the statue of the Blessed Mother.
I’m still not sure how they tore
Brandon away from her. It must have been the promise of the “one flesh union”
to come in the following wedding Mass. I should also mention that Brandon
cleaned up quite well and was dashingly handsome in his navy blue tux. Jen was
equally eager to keep her eyes glued on him!
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| Blurry...but captures the joy! |
The wedding Mass: I could write
for days on this single hour long event. So much beauty. So much love. So much
continued joy. The music, the presence of friends and family, the brief and
well preached homily, the joyfully and clearly proclaimed vows…of course the
treasure of the Mass itself as the height and summit of the Christian life
making present the one saving sacrifice of Christ. But what will remain
impressed in my mind most of all was watching Brandon and Jen truly,
prayerfully participate in the Mass. There close to the altar, before the eyes
of Catholics – practicing and non – and non-Catholics alike was a young couple
really living the Mass. During the songs and prayers they sung and proclaimed
with a loud voice and eyes held closed in concentration. Their hands remained
clasped together with their free hand often and naturally raised in a posture
of praise before our God. Their vows were spoken with smiles on their faces,
clear voices, and watery eyes locked in an intense gaze marveling at the mystery
of a God who sacramentally joins two persons through the seemingly simple
repetition of words chosen long ago. In an appropriate gesture on the great
feast of the Annunciation they consecrated their marriage to Our Lady offering
her a bouquet of white roses and lifting up a prayer for her intercession. The
Mass ended with a blessing and sending forth of the husband and wife announced
as “Mr. and Mrs. Brandon and Jen Klekar.” (We’ll forgive Fr. Marco for his
unfortunate mispronunciation!)
With the wedding bells rung and a
few more pictures snapped, the reception began! Heavy hors d’oeuvres and drinks
of all kinds accompanied the guests in the short wait to welcome the newlyweds
who impressed with a well done first dance full of twirls and even ending with
a dip (nicely done Brandon, nicely done)! Next the mingling commenced as the
happily married couple made their rounds. Watching them I couldn’t help but
notice the freedom and security they each had wanting to stay together but able
to easily leave each other’s side with no sign of clinging. Jen’s love gives
Brandon the confidence to know he has what it takes and is worthy of this
beautiful woman’s self-gift. Brandon’s love tells Jen that she’s enough,
special, treasured, cherished for who she is, and protected. Each of their love
gives the other the freedom to be nothing other than utterly and authentically
themselves. Then, Jen’s dad gave a beautiful toast making me proud again to be
Brandon’s sister with his praiseworthy compliments and welcoming of our whole
family along with Brandon into the Gavia flock. This was followed by the
father-daughter dance and mother-son dance which opened up the dance floor to a
mix of a well-chosen playlist offering opportunities to two-step, line dance,
and break multiple moves. Enjoying myself with the various guests and family I
still found myself often gazing after the newlyweds watching and witnessing
their love so delicately and simply shared. In good Aggie fashion we “sawed ‘em
off” in a swaying circle where I proudly (and strategically) placed myself by
my brother being reminded of Aggie football games attended together. The night
was approaching its end and I was beginning to prepare myself for our goodbye.
Would he forget? There is a lot going on after all, but we won’t see each other
again for several months. I’d sure like more than a side hug or quick hand
wave. The final song “Don’t Stop Believing” – the city girl and small town boy
dancing together in the middle of the crowd gathered only for them, guests of
all ages screaming out the words to this timeless Journey classic. The music
ends and the crowd disperses in search of sparklers and a good spot in the line
leading up to the getaway car. Miraculously there remains basically only us on
the dance floor. The moment I’ve been so dreading meets the moment for which
he’s been so long waiting. See you in
August. A look, a knowing and pained smile, a generous big-brother embrace.
Of course he didn’t forget. He’ll miss me too. More than ever I loved my
brother. I loved who he’s always been, who he was standing before me then, and
the man he was destined to become walking this path. I loved his wife, the
woman God had chosen to put by his side and entrust with Brandon’s holiness.
There was so much I could say in that moment like how much I love introducing
myself as “Brandon’s little sister” and look for every opportunity to do so. Or
how proud I truly was to be able to claim this man of great faith who leads
through his example. Or how full and yet light my heart was in the rays of his
contagious joy. Once Brandon told me that he wanted to be a role model in
everything for me as my big brother – even in the faith. Well, I could have
told him how inspired I was by his holiness to strive more determinedly towards
my own. I could’ve shared my hopes, dreams, and prayers I have for him and Jen
in this adventure of life together as one. I
love you. I’m proud of you. You did good. I say as I motion to Jen. I love you too. I know, Brandon. I know.
A hug to Jen – the sister I always wanted and a sincere thanks for including me
so warmly in even her side of the preparation and festivities.
They’ve arrived at the car. The
scene is set for a perfect get away. Sparklers lighting the dark sky, he
dramatically dips her for a kiss, the family steals another hug, he chivalrously
opens the door and seats his bride-turned-wife before getting in himself, and
they are off. Only a few short hours separating them from their flight to sunny
paradise!
My heart is full. There is just a
tinge of sadness. Sadness at the end of an era. The end of “the 4 of us”. The
end of “Brandon’s place” knowing from now on she’ll always be there. Sadness
perhaps hinted also with jealousy of having to share my Brandon which now must become our. But this hint of sadness is overcome by such great joy! Joy of
a new beginning. Joy at being 5. Joy at going to visit Brandon and finding her
always there. And not just any her
but Jen – the girl I met and instantly liked even before I knew they were
friends. The girl that makes Brandon smile like that and will run alongside of him so as to win the crown of glory.
Yes, Saturday marked the sadness of an end but also the great joy of a new
beginning. What lies ahead only time will tell, and I can’t wait to live every
present moment of it!
Sunday met me with a hangover of joy and constant thoughts of the
happy couple and how they were living their honeymoon and recent made vows. A
beautiful breakfast with family at Denny’s allowed me time to make good on this
chance to come home half way through year one in Rome. Swapping stories of Rome
life for those of home life, we laughed through the meal enjoying each other’s’
presence. The end came too soon and our goodbyes were said with a hopeful look
forward to August that “will certainly come quickly.”
I spent the afternoon walking
around a beautiful lake and chatting with another newlywed couple and dear
friends from college. It was nice to catch-up.
That evening after Mass it was
just me, Mom, and Dad. Walking around downtown Dallas we chatted like old times
laughing and making fun as well as often wondering aloud at the doings of
Brandon and Jen at that moment. We commented on the wedding, our favorite parts
and the impression it had left on us. We shared memories of Brandon and first
moments of Jen in our lives – moments that will quickly be multiplying. We
decided on take-out (pizza and mozzarella sticks) to be eaten in the privacy
and comfort of our hotel room for our last night together before my return
flight to Rome. Very simple but all we needed: time together and rest.
Monday morning seemed to come quick as my departure became real
again. After some last minute errands, a long breakfast at Ihop, and wasting
time in Kohls we headed to the airport. Sitting in the car replaying the
funniest moments of the weekend tears brimmed my eyes in the midst of one of
those hard laughs Dad and I often share: tears due to the laugh but also to the
emotion of leaving. Staring at my parents after the weekend with Brandon we had
just had, I was more aware than ever of what I was leaving behind. I love my
family in all their quirks and imperfections. I love my story and where I come
from. I love that they support me in my life choices to the extent of driving
me to the flight that will separate us with the ocean even when it breaks their
heart. Like the love Brandon and Jen share, that of my parents also makes me
free. Free to fly – literally and figuratively. Free to be me and pursue my
heart’s greatest desires. Free to discover who God has created me to be and
follow Him wherever it is that He would lead me. The freedom of a loving gaze
constant and pure. A gaze that says between tears that even more than I want
you to stay, I want you to go because I know it is what is best for you and
what will make you most happy. A gaze that truly wants the other’s good. And
now I sit aboard my international flight fighting back my own tears as I review
this weekend’s beautiful events. More than ever before I want to stay and
experience the newness of this adventure of “5” and walk with Brandon and Jen
in their adventure of “2”, but this isn’t my reality. God has other plans for
us. Plans greater than my ideas because reality is superior to ideas, and we
live in reality not the ideas that roam around in my mind (thank goodness!!!).
So I entrust myself again in His hands. I entrust Mom and Dad, Brandon and Jen.
I entrust our relationship defined by distance, and I look to the Heavenly
Father with trust and love knowing that my reality is a gift and work of mercy
leading me Home to Him. What is entailed of my reality is what is “necessary”
for my holiness. This is my avenue to sainthood and, inspired by the witness of
Brandon and Jen’s pursuit of God in their everyday life, I embrace it in the
good and bad, beautiful and ugly, easy and difficult with hope and joy of a
“tomorrow” together that one day will never end.
