Dear Family and friends,
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Happy Feast of the Baptism of the Lord!
I want to start off by acknowledging the fact that I did not send any updates over the summer months. I could sit here and try to list off the many reasons why that didn't happen, but, if I am being completely honest, the biggest reason is that I just didn't make the time. But don't worry! I do not plan to "make up for lost time" by doubling the length of this newsletter. We will follow the same pattern as usual - the tried and true method - and I'll fill you in on important events, a story from this past year, what's moving in my heart, and how you can join me in prayer. So, here goes...
Important Events
June 2024 - We had our General Assembly that happens every 5 years. In these days of meetings we sought to invoke the Holy Spirit as a community and cast a vision together (and with Him) about the next 5 years. We also elected our new "government": Sr. Michela was re-elected as our General Superior and we elected Sr. Debbie, Sr. Clara, Sr. Raffaella, and Sr. Tatum as the council members who accompany and advise Sr. Michela in her leadership.
August 2024 - we started renting the house across the street from our College Station home (provided to us by St. Mary's Catholic Center). This new rental is for purposes outside of our mission in Campus Ministry so it is an initiative administered totally by us Apostles of the Interior Life. Many generous friends, family members, and benefactors helped us turn this house into a home, and we've been in it for nearly half a year now! We continue to be greatly supported by those who desire to help us embark on this new adventure of living the first phase of formation in the States and of expanding our mission in this area of Texas.
September 2024 - New Arrivals! Sr. Janel joined us in Texas after 20 years in Rome! Zennia Wong, a young women who has been discerning with our community since she graduated college in 2022, officially entered into the first phase of formation and moved in! Sr. Janel, Zennia, Sr. Tatum, and myself all live together in the new rental, but we still share many moments of prayer and community time with the sisters across the street with whom we still operate as one community under two roofs!
September 13, 2024 - My niece Mary Clare was born. She joins Shepherd (6 years) and Emma Kate (3.5 years) as children of my brother Brandon and his wife Jen.
December 8, 2024 - Alexa Van Lerberg made her consecration as an Apostle of the Interior Life in her home parish of St. Joseph in Shawnee, KS. All of us sisters from Texas as well as a couple from Rome were present at this beautiful event. We were very warmly welcomed by Sr. Alexa's family and parish community, as well as by old friends of ours from the area.
December 15, 2024 - I became a godmother (for the second time) to a beautiful little girl named Zara Maria.
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| Our humble new rental! |
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| My new niece Mary Clare |
Story Time
The experience of this summer's General Assembly was truly a blessing for our community as well as for me personally in my walk of faith with the Lord. Desiring to live those 10 days fully, I really sought to ask the Lord how He wanted me to be present to each moment and how He wanted to encounter me during the Assembly. It was my first time to participate. The last General Assembly, five years ago, was held a few months before my consecration. I was both nervous and excited!
"Manda la tua verità e la tua luce; siano essi a guidarmi, mi portino al tuo monte santo e alle tue dimore." - Sal 42
This verse from Psalm 42 (written above in Italian) appeared in the psalms of Morning Prayer on our retreat day before beginning the General Assembly. In English it reads: "Send your truth and your light; may they guide me, bring me to your holy mountain and your dwelling place". From the moment we prayed this verse, I knew it would accompany me throughout the following days' events.
From this verse, it was clear to me that all the fruits of the General Assembly - every word, decision, conclusion - must come from the Lord. The frequency of the word "your" reminded me that I only desire what comes from the Lord and that my main "job" in these days would be to invoke Him, strain my ear to hear His voice, fix my gaze intently upon Him, and study each moment for signs of His presence.
With the prayer of those few words so many things became immediately clear to me. A lightbulb had gone off and an immense peace had filled my heart. We were to seek to see the reality around us in the truth that comes from the Lord, with an openness to be purified in our own prejudices and biases in order to pursue the greatest good possible. He was offering us His light: a light that illuminates and gives warmth to the room where we would gather. He would be the guide. I was not to grasp onto control. I was to surrender and follow. I asked for the grace to submit, to "put myself under" His movements and promptings. He promised to bring us to dwell with Him in His holy place - a place where we would find real rest and restoration. A place to abide with Him in peace and serenity. A place from which to live out the mission He has entrusted to us, giving ourselves totally to Him and to His Church in the way He has uniquely called us to as Apostles of the Interior Life.
Inspired by this prayer, I quickly developed a very concrete practice throughout our meetings which were comprised of moments of personal reflection, sharing, discussing, and lots of listening. This practice quickly took the form of a very simple, yet powerful prayer: "Lord, what are you saying to me right now? Lord, what do you want me to say?" Each morning (and multiple times throughout the day) I asked for the grace to trust and act upon what I perceived to be a prompting from the Lord either to notice a particular word or phrase said by one of my sisters or by the group as coming from Him or to recognize what word or phrase He was asking me to contribute to the group with my voice and my presence in the meetings. I asked for simplicity and confidence, and you know what? I believe that those days - in all their hours of meetings, logistics, the heat of the Roman summer, and the general tiredness that comes from so much mental concentration - were some of the most Holy Spirit filled days I have ever lived. No fireworks, no dramatic "ah-ha" moments but consistent peace and a newfound confidence that I knew couldn't come from me alone.
I often return in my mind and heart to the experience of the General Assembly with great wonder and gratitude. It has become a model for me of how I desire to live in the ordinary of my daily life, not just in the 10 days of special meetings we have every 5 years. I can't say that I start each day in prayer with this verse from Psalm 42 or that I am, in the same way, constantly attuned to how the Lord may be speaking to me through others or may desire to speak to them through me. But, I do cultivate the memory of those days and recognize that I and my relationship with the Lord are changed (deepened and transformed) because of that experience. Thank you to all of you who knew about our meetings and accompanied us in prayer. Certainly your prayers contributed to the many graces and fruits we experienced then and are still experiencing now.
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| The Sisters who participated in the General Assembly |
Where's my heart?
As briefly mentioned above, this past December I celebrated 5 years of consecration. These past 5 years have been a time of growth and maturation, of exploration and discovery, of death to self and self-gift. It has been a time for me to continue (even now) to marvel at the fact that this is my reality. I am a consecrated woman in the community of the Apostles of the Interior Life. I dedicate my daily life to my relationship with the Lord and to accompanying others in their relationship with Him. Five years down, and I still can't seem to get over the surprise and wonder at such a gift!
At the same time, I am keenly aware of the monotony, the sacrifice, the humdrum that this life also offers me. I feel the challenge and the pain of the ways it asks me to grow and to be purified. I know that I can no longer hide behind the excuse of being one of "the little ones". With the passage of time, I am gradually being entrusted with more and more responsibility. I notice - sometimes all too clearly - my tendencies to selfishness or pride, the ways I try to save my life instead of lose it for the sake of Christ (see Mt 16:25).
In the days around my anniversary, I was struck by a verse the Liturgy proposed to us from Isaiah 30:
"This is the way; walk in it." Is 30:21
Praying with these words reminded me very vividly that the Rule of Life and "style of living" of the Apostles of the Interior Life is my way. It is the way the Lord has laid before me and the way I have said a definitive "yes" to through my consecration. It is, ultimately, the way that leads to my personal holiness and, God willing, the way, if I truly walk in it, that most helps those around me take steps toward their personal holiness too.
When I hear these words echo in my heart, this is the way; walk in it, I often find that they give me the courage to more fully immerse myself in this life, especially in what is hard or uncomfortable, or just - in my opinion - boring or useless. Throughout the day, I find myself before the choice to truly enter into a moment or just float over it, riding the surface and "multi-tasking" by thinking of other things. This can be applied during prayer when the temptation is to "go through the motions" or even during community meals or recreations when I am free to choose how present I am to my sisters.
These words don't just give me courage but they also give me peace. When I am tempted to judge my prayer as unproductive or "too-this" or "not-enough-that", I can remember that my Rule of Life asks me to pray in a certain way each day, and when I do, I am walking in the way. When I am tempted to judge my sisters or blame certain personality types for making my life hard, I can find peace in knowing that by choosing to love and be in relationship with someone who is different from me, who is hard to love in a particular moment, precisely because she is my sister in community, I am walking in the way, my way...the way of the Lord for me.
This "walking in the way" has become, at least in this moment of time, my way of setting my life solidly on the Rock that is Christ (see Mt 7:24-27). Through relationship, trust, patience, and living the present moment with Him, I find a stable source of security and peace. This becomes most concrete for me during an evening practice called the Daily Examen, that I've mentioned to y'all before. I also seek to live it at other times as a means of being united to the Lord throughout my day.
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| Sr. Alexa's Consecration Back from left: Sr. Tatum, Zennia, Sr. Briana, Sr. Kalin, Sr. Janel Front from left: Sr. Clara, Sr. Michela, myself, Sr. Alexa, Sr. Ruth, Sr. Raffaella |
Prayer Intentions
- For the students at St. Mary's Catholic Center who we minister to, many of whom will be making big life decisions this semester and taking steps to deepen their relationship with the Lord in a world that isn't always supportive of them living their faith.
- For the women in formation with our community, especially Zennia who is in the first phase of formation here in Texas.
- For Sr. Alexa as she begins her life as a consecrated woman with the Apostles of the Interior Life and for the mission she continues to live in Rome, Italy.
- For our founder, Fr. Salvatore, who turned 98 last December: for his continued good health and high quality of life as long as the Lord desires to give us the gift of his presence here with us.
- For my family: for good health and a deep faith through all of life's circumstances.
- For my goddaughter Zara Maria (and her parents Nacho and Regina Zermeno) at the beginning of their journey as parents and her journey as a follower of Christ and dwelling place of the Holy Spirit.
- For the year of 2025, that all the "new" may be grace-filled and immersed in the Father's blessing.
